A narcissist and money is a nasty combination. Narcissists are obsessed with money, but also with power, fame, achievements, success and growth. They are very materialistic.
Narcissists generally place a high value on possessions such as cars, watches, expensive clothes and money.
But what can you do if a narcissist misuses your money or property financially? Then you are in a dire situation. My tips in this article will help you get out of this as best and quickly as possible
The narcissist and money
Why are narcissists so obsessed with possessions, materialism, and money? There are five examples that show how the narcissist views money.
Narcissists think they are superior. Often this sense of superiority is just a way for them to feel good because they have been neglected or abused in the past. Thus, narcissists’ sense of superiority can also be a compensation method so that they feel worthy.
Money, of course, is a perfect means of being superior to others. With more money, a narcissist is richer and more successful than others, and can buy expensive things to show his/her superior image even more. This superiority thinking of the narcissist can lead to excessive spending, gambling addiction, drug use and a shopping addiction.
dr. Sam Vaknin is an author and expert on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Volens Vaknin sees money as another word for love in the emotional sense of the word.
The narcissist was deprived of love early in childhood. That is why the narcissist is constantly looking for substitutes for love. Money is an ultimate substitute for love. dr. Vaknin argues that the narcissist’s true nature is reflected in the narcissist’s relationship with money and the narcissist’s attitude toward money. For example, a narcissist feels that he/she has a right to the money of others.
The experiences of people with money problems due to narcissistic abuse are intense to read:
“I dated/lived with a narcissist who was the most caring and loving person in the beginning. Slowly he wrapped me around his fingers, but I didn’t notice. He financially manipulated me into buying things, such as saying, ‘ Oh honey, isn’t this beautiful? † Or ‘ I would love this’ . It kept getting worse. He was unemployed himself and tried to convince me to sell my house. He tried to keep my family away from me.
When it came to sex, he liked to receive, but not to give. They wrap you up and then change your values and standards so that you do everything for them. Also in terms of money. They want you to buy and do things for them, but will never contribute financially to it themselves. You are their slave. The money belongs to the narcissist and if you try to contain it, she (secretly) becomes rebellious. It then quickly goes downhill. They will then take what they can get.
Eventually you want to break up, but you are stuck with him making it difficult to end the relationship quickly. The narcissist will then quickly meet someone else and then the same cycle will start again.” – Yvonne, age 37.
Watch the video below from Dr. Sam Vaknin on the narcissist and money before you read on:
Money is also something magical for the narcissist . This magical nature of money leads to irresponsible behavior. As if they are immune to the consequences of their handling of money.
This behavior leads to debt, financial fraud, and defrauding (to a greater or lesser extent) from friends and relatives.
The narcissist’s view of money as magical can also lead to self-invented financial facts that are completely unrelated to their talents, skills, job, or financial resources.
- They pretend to be richer than they actually are.
- They pretend they can get rich easily.
- They are greedy and want more and more.
- They have a love-hate relationship with money.
- They are frugal with their own money, but it is easier to spend other people’s money.
- They live like a king and way beyond their means.
- Narcissists often go bankrupt and/or their business goes horribly wrong.
Finally, the narcissist’s reality is distorted . It’s megalomania when it comes to money. They are obsessed with money. It is for them a substitute for love and affection.
They want to have that much money, and will even steal from family and cheat to achieve this goal. Everything is justified to have as much money as possible to satisfy their sense of superiority.
Narcissists tend to be very materialistic
Here’s the interesting thing: Narcissists use materialistic things to make themselves feel superior.
“I’m better than you because I have an expensive watch.”
“I’m richer than you because I have a bigger/more expensive/exclusive/faster car.”
Stuff and money are tools for the narcissist to make them and others believe that they are actually superior. Materialistic things affirm their own self-image of superiority.
A narcissist always wants more.
Therefore, a narcissist will try to get rich. They want to try as much as possible to project that image of superiority onto themselves. Then they think others will see them as superior too.
But not all of them can afford expensive houses, expensive cars and exclusive vacations. Then they will focus on perfect looks and expensive clothes.
See why narcissists always look perfect? A narcissist will also do their best to have a perfect-looking partner and children. So this is love based on logic, not based on emotions.
The narcissist will use all types of successes and achievements to improve his/her own image and be superior to others. Materialism and money are only a means to this end for the narcissist.
Is a narcissist financially abusive if they are able to? Hell yes.
Narcissists use money to feel special and superior to others.
Status items such as designer clothes, luxury cars, luxury homes, dinners, and outings are essential ways for a narcissist to boost their ego.
Spending money when you have it is one thing; spending money when you don’t have it is quite another.
A narcissist thinks he’s entitled to the best, even if he doesn’t have the money to pay for it. He easily fools himself into believing that the money will be there in the future, even if it isn’t there now.
Narcissists can fool others. For example, they pay a bill when it’s low or buy something expensive for someone else when it’s on sale.
But if you look closely, you will notice that narcissists are only generous enough to improve their own image .
Narcissists do not have a normal relationship with money.
They may ask you for money even when they are the main breadwinner or have a well-paid job. They are not likely to take their partner out for dinner. Being frugal is fine, but being pathological about money is not.
Someone with a good job who never spends their own money could potentially be a narcissist. The opposite pathology surrounding a narcissist and his money is that of the showoff .
This person spends money enthusiastically but unrealistically and unwisely:
For example: the man with a big pile of bills in his pocket who always buys drinks at the bar, but at the same time doesn’t save enough to pay his mortgage every month…
Narcissists make themselves feel greater by convincing themselves that they are superior. Narcissists with money look down on the working class . The workmen . The common people . Working class narcissists look down on those with less money, even if the other has a more elite job.
Whatever narcissists have (or think they have), they will use it to look down on other people. Narcissists crave money and are never satisfied with the status quo; it’s like an addiction and they will always need more.
When they get the chance, they will use your money . Often first with an excuse. But beware: this will become more and more compulsive . They will also become more and more sneaky . Do you remember how much money your narcissistic partner uses from your account? Probably not (at all).
Preventing Financial Abuse & Money Problems By A Narcissist?
Do you want to prevent financial abuse and money problems by a narcissist? Don’t want to build up high debts from your narcissistic partner or lover?
Then the help of an experienced expert is of great importance. This is the only solution to do something about it for good.
You need someone who has a lot of experience and advises you regarding abuse, emotional manipulation or abuse. To prevent financial misery by a narcissist in the quickest and safest way, the right approach is important.
You pay a high price for staying in a relationship with a narcissist.