If you’re reading this, you probably suspect that you have a narcissist in your environment. Maybe your partner, family member, a friend or a colleague.
How can you expose a narcissist so that you can deal with this person better?
In this article I give you 12 important clues with which you can quickly unmask a narcissist and some tips to expose narcissism.
What is a narcissist?
You can quickly suspect that you are dealing with a narcissist. For example when:
But then it’s not necessarily a narcissist.
More important than a suspicion, is unmasking a real narcissist.
A true narcissist is a person with narcissistic personality disorder . This is a mental disorder .
A narcissist actually believes that he/she is better than the rest. A true narcissist does not do this consciously. It’s a mental disorder. Therefore, a narcissist will not change.
You can recognize a narcissist by the following characteristics:
The bottom line , says licensed therapist Rebecca Weiler , is selfishness at the expense of others, usually in its extreme form, plus the inability to consider the feelings of others at all.
Narcissistic personality disorder, like most mental disorders or personality disorders, is not black or white. Narcissism falls within a spectrum .
The extent to which narcissism manifests itself therefore differs per person. There are different criteria for the narcissistic personality disorder, but when a person meets some of the criteria, we already speak of a narcissist.
Exposing the Hidden Narcissist
Do you suspect that you are dealing with a narcissistic partner ? Then it is very important that you unmask your narcissistic partner as soon as possible.
A narcissistic partner is like a trap: you fall deeper and deeper into it and get more and more entangled in the suffocating web of the narcissist.
You will notice that your partner changes. The charm and sweet character traits are gone. Where has your dear partner gone? Your partner will behave differently and show more unpredictable behavior.
You notice that this is difficult for you to deal with. You want to support your partner and look for what could be behind it. Is your partner traumatized?
Maybe your partner is just busy with work and suffering from stress and work pressure. Or maybe you fall back into your own insecurity and think it’s up to you.
You notice that you support your partner, even during this difficult period. But you also notice that this entire situation affects you. You feel sad and distraught.
Look after! You can completely lose yourself in a relationship with a narcissist. You lose yourself and you are no longer yourself. You become a different person.
Deep down you are very dissatisfied with your relationship because the narcissist is exerting more and more influence on you. Without realizing it, you are already trapped in his/her web.
It’s not your fault! Your partner has a mental disorder and at the beginning of the relationship pretended to be different from what he/she really is.
Now that you’ve been together longer, your partner’s narcissistic nature is surfacing. Now is the time for you to expose your partner and take action.
If you are reading this, you have the first suspicions that your partner may be a narcissist. Very well. This is the first step to improving your situation.
What should I do?
A narcissistic partner is suffocating. The narcissist will try to get you into his/her web more and more. Narcissism is treatable, but not curable.
Get help! Ask other people for advice, engage a professional or experience expert. Read more about narcissism and its consequences.
Your partner has a mental disorder that cannot be changed or cured. You can never please your partner and your partner will never change.
Narcissist Unmasked: Watch These Signs or Tips To Expose Narcissism
With these signals you can unmask the narcissist. A narcissist does not have to meet all these characteristics, but certainly a large part of these signals.
How to recognize a narcissist:
Test : What happens when you start talking about yourself? Does the other person start asking you questions and does the other person show interest in you? Or does the narcissist change the topic of conversation, quickly returning to the narcissist?
Tip : A person who is only insecure and not a narcissist does not depend only on you or anyone else to feel good about themselves. A narcissist needs your compliments . A narcissist feels better by belittling others and being derogatory about (the success of) others.
Read more about the manipulation technique gaslighting here. Manipulating is a way for narcissists to get what they want.
In short, you can recognize gaslighting by these characteristics:
The narcissist is stringing you along . Are you friends, colleagues, are you in a relationship or are you vague acquaintances? Your narcissistic partner doesn’t label your relationship, but puts it off for longer and longer. Fear of commitment should be a red flag for you too!
The narcissist is always right and never apologizes . A discussion with a narcissist is therefore a lost cause. And you can completely forget a ‘sorry’.
The narcissist panics when you threaten to end the relationship . Your partner will initially shower you with love and attention to change your mind. But you will soon notice that your partner does not change.
All hell will break loose if you actually end the relationship . Your narcissistic partner or ex-partner will do anything to hurt you. Emotionally, financially, verbally, socially or physically. His/her ego is badly damaged.
OK, after reading the above signs, you may already have a stronger suspicion that you are dealing with a narcissist.