Do you quickly get stressed from everyday things and situations?
You can then react very extreme. Others around you may be startled by your sudden reaction.
By putting the situation into perspective, you can remain calm without exploding.
This is further explained in this article. Like Tips To Learn To Relate In Different Situations that help you to put things into perspective.
What does relativity mean?
When you’re in a group of people, you find that you can quickly get upset about things that in hindsight weren’t as terrible as you thought at the time.
In retrospect, you realize that the situation was quite trivial, but that you exploded for nothing.
When you have trouble putting things into perspective in certain situations, you quickly get upset about the most insignificant things. For example in the following situations:
- Getting stuck in a traffic jam;
- Someone who doesn’t do what you want;
- Someone who doesn’t do something the way you would like it to;
- Receive criticism;
- Losing money on an investment;
- Become ill.
There are also everyday situations that are very common for some people, but can make other people very upset.
It’s not big problems that drive us crazy, like a divorce, a major setback, or losing your job.
No… often these are daily statements that show that you have trouble putting things into perspective.
Do you recognize the following statements in yourself?
- This always happens to me!
- Why is this happening to me again?
- I can’t take it anymore!
- I’ll stop today or tomorrow.
- Everything is always against me.
You can recognize these people everywhere. For example, at the elevator that is full. Or in the supermarket.
Especially in traffic, people can get angry over nothing.
Or on the terrace they can get angry when the waiter has made a small mistake. Or the exam that is coming up. They scream, are furious and seem to think the world is about to end.
You turn a mouse into an elephant
These people seem like real drama queens . They easily turn a mouse into an elephant.
When you have trouble putting things into perspective, the situations in your head sound worse than they are in reality. Yet you are not able to correctly assess the real situation, but you are overcome by the stress in your head.
Other people will be surprised. In their eyes you are grumpy, aggressive, unkind or unnecessarily stressed.
Others will find it strange that you always act so strangely. In reality, you are unable to honestly assess the situation. It’s actually between your ears.
There is, however, a method for learning to put things into perspective. Cognitive therapy can help you put things into perspective. This will make you less flammable.
You are less likely to explode in ordinary situations. The key lies in being rational.
The word ‘rational’ is derived from the word ‘ratio’. This means that being rational means seeing the situations in the right proportion, i.e. in the right perspective.
This is relative. When you can put situations into perspective, you see them in the real perspective.
You look at it from an honest position, which allows you to assess the situation as it is, rather than blowing everything up and reacting explosively to situations where it isn’t necessary.
Do you also want to learn this? Then read the article completely.
Putting things into perspective in different situations
How can you put things into perspective in the right way in different situations? Life is full of mountains and valleys.
People who have trouble putting things into perspective have a lot of trouble with the valleys.
Below are some common difficult situations discussed and how you can put these situations into perspective.
The end of a relationship
When you break up, your relationship is over, but not your life! You can sit in a deep valley for a while.
When a relationship is over, it can be very sad. It can even come completely unexpectedly, giving you the feeling that you have bumped into a closed door.
So you can certainly be sad. Put on music by Taylor Swift or Adele, sing along, watch sad movies and eat lots of chocolate ice cream.
But after that, you have to face reality: your relationship is over, but your life goes on.
No matter how terribly sad and annoying you may feel, you are not alone.
Maybe you got a little blue or maybe you broke off the relationship yourself.
It’s always bad to end a relationship. You can certainly cry and feel sorry for yourself. But once you’ve done that, it’s good to put things into perspective and look at the situation realistically.
The hardest part of the breakup is realizing that your relationship is on the rocks.
Realize that you are single again and not together anymore. Don’t endlessly scroll through photos of the happy couple in better times or think back to the relationship. The relationship is no more.
Try to leave the relationship behind emotionally and mentally. At the same time, you should also not fall into a deep valley.
Don’t think you’ll always be alone and never find anyone again. There is no reason whatsoever for that. Try to put things into perspective and be realistic.
Realize that there is a clear reason that it is now your ex-boyfriend. It may have been a good partner, but not good enough.
Why did the relationship break down? What led to it?
Also realize that your partner is probably upset too. Try to take the high road and don’t give room to indecent actions or thoughts. Keep your own dignity at all times.
Now that you’ve put the time of self-pity behind you, it’s time to focus on the now.
You are single! Now is the perfect time to find out what you’ve been missing. You now have the opportunity to do all the things you couldn’t do in a relationship. And you don’t have a partner to reckon with.
Enjoy sports whenever you want, become a member of an association or club, go on a trip and go out with friends until the late hours.
Enjoy this new freedom so you can focus on the good things about being single.
It will help you forget the sad things and get over the relationship. Challenge yourself. You will then notice that you can do more than you thought. Broaden your horizons and increase your confidence.
The key to putting things into perspective after a breakup lies in realizing that you can be truly happy (again).
Give your body and mind time to rest and think about the bigger picture. You will discover that you are stronger than you think! There is life after a breakup, but you can only see this when you put things into perspective.
The death of a loved one
The death of a close friend or family member can be very sad.
Everyone reacts differently to the death of a person close to you. You can be overwhelmed by the sadness and the shock. Yet life goes on.
How can you put the death of a friend or family member into perspective?
Give yourself permission to grieve
This may sound weird. Yet it is very important that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. Every person reacts differently to loss.
Some want to talk about the deceased person, while others are more reserved.
Grief comes in waves. At unexpected moments you can suddenly be reminded of your loss.
For example, when hearing or smelling something that reminds you of the deceased person. The tears can then start flowing out of nowhere.
This can be overwhelming and at the same time embarrassing in public situations.
Still, it’s important that you let this happen, because it’s part of the grieving process .
Don’t fight your feelings. Don’t be afraid to show your feelings. It is a form of mourning, so that you can put the death of your loved one into perspective.
Talking about your grief and your loss with others can help you put it into perspective and process it, especially during difficult times.
It differs per person how best to talk to another person. Perhaps in a group or perhaps with one person. You can also ask for professional help from a psychologist.
It is important that you feel comfortable with the person you are talking to about the loss. It must be a person who understands what you are going through.
You are not alone with your grief. There are also other relatives and friends of the deceased.
Honor the life of your loved one
There are many ways to honor the life of the deceased.
When your loved one died of a certain disease, you can commit yourself to gather more knowledge about the disease. For example, through a donation.
You can also honor the deceased by eating/drinking/doing with other relatives what he/she liked to eat or doing what he/she liked to do.
In this way you can think back to the loved one in a positive way with others. There are so many different ways to celebrate the life of the deceased in a positive way and to help in this process.
Take care of yourself
It is important that you take good care of yourself in a time of great loss. Severe sadness can affect your body enormously, because sadness releases a lot of negative energy and emotions.
So listen carefully to your body. Try to take extra rest where you can. Try not to judge yourself.
Do not expect too much of yourself, because your body and emotions are having a hard time. Realize that these feelings and fatigue are self-evident.
It does not matter. You’re not doing anything wrong. Give yourself the time it takes to recover.
Death is unfortunately inevitable. It’s part of life. Everyone will lose a loved one at some point.
So it is important that you realize that you are not alone. It is also good to celebrate the deceased loved one and to take good care of yourself.
Relativize when you’re embarrassed
Stumbling over a rug, spilling a drink, arriving late to a party, your partner telling others something you didn’t want others to know: everyone knows the pain of shame.
Some people may laugh at it, or at least pretend to think it’s funny.
Others are affected by the situation. They blush, stutter, overreact, or get angry, creating yet another uncomfortable situation.
How can you put things into perspective when you feel like you’re being embarrassed so that you don’t make it worse for yourself?
Edward Gross, a scientist at the University of Washington (United States) talks about the 4 main situations in which shame is almost inevitable.
- Discredit : People have created a certain image of themselves which is being discredited. For example, when a female supervisor is mistaken for a secretary.
- Disruption of an equilibrium : Something unexpectedly goes wrong, what now? For example, there is one chair too few.
- Loss of trust : When 2 people have a relationship of trust and/or act as a team, but one of the two changes roles. At a party, for example, the man tells a joke and the woman responds “Honey, everyone has heard that joke”.
- Intentional shyness : For example, during a hazing.
The shame can be very damaging.
It can destroy a person’s reputation, break up a marriage or cause a company to go bankrupt by shattering the faith and trust of customers.
How can you put these situations into perspective?
The best way to deal with these embarrassing situations is to prepare for the situations.
Much of the time, these disruptions can be avoided if people can foresee the problems that may arise.
For example, when you rehearse a job interview, you can answer the questions more easily.
So you anticipate any problems and embarrassing situations in advance. This can help you to put things into perspective during an unexpected situation.
Compare if you lose your job
Getting fired and getting unemployed are moments in your life where everything around you can seem to collapse.
You thought you had stability, but the solid ground under your feet turns out not to be as solid as you thought. You sink into the mud. How can you deal with this?
It is a situation that cries out for perspective. But first you can sink into the mud for a while.
You can be sad, sitting at home distraught on the couch and crying. You can worry about your mortgage and your fixed income. But don’t stay too long in this hole. Start comparing quickly.
Are you entitled to unemployment benefits? Are you entitled to social assistance benefits? Do you want to work again or have you had a dream for years?
Time is freedom. Not having a job now has given you the opportunity and freedom to do something you’ve always wanted to do. You can take a long trip or set up your own business.
Try not to get stuck in the misery for too long, but quickly focus on the new opportunities and get back to work.
Look for a new job, share with friends, family and acquaintances that you are looking for a new job or work on what you have always wanted to do.
But above all, try to look at this threshold from a positive perspective.
Relating as a social skill
When you have read the above, you will understand that the ability to put things into perspective is an important social skill.
Or rather: the inability to put things into perspective in important situations will severely limit the opportunities in your life.
Other people do not appreciate the inability to put things into perspective.
A person who does not put things into perspective is quickly seen as a hot temper, cranky and socially limited.
These are the people who get angry out of the blue in the perception of others. This is not an attractive quality to others.
Life is full of highs and lows. Things don’t go the way you want, because you can’t control life.
The ability to put things into perspective is the only way to deal with these struggles in life.
If you don’t do this, you will not only have yourself with it, but you will find that the people around you also do not appreciate this quality.
I advise you to follow the following tips to train yourself better:
5 Tips To Learn To Relate In Different Situations and help you put things into perspective
Do you have trouble putting things into perspective?
In moments of stress that you may experience, it is even more difficult to put things into perspective.
The following 5 steps can help you put things in perspective. They can help you put the situations into perspective, so that you can deal with them better.
Tip 1: Ask yourself what the consequences are
Ask yourself what the consequences will be for yourself and those around you if you react with such intensity.
For example, do you get angry about little things? Are you quick to step on your toes? Are you concerned about simple, everyday things? Do you quickly get stressed by unexpected things?
You may react fearfully and angrily to it, making people around you feel worse for your reaction.
Fortunately, this can change. You can reduce the stress you experience at such a time by putting things into perspective. Is it really that bad?
A lot of stress and overreacting can be symptoms of burnout .
Tip 2: Take a step back
Take a step back and observe and describe the situation to yourself, without judgment.
We can quickly become concerned with our interpretation of a situation, rather than what actually happened.
So write down for yourself what happened without judging it. This is putting things into perspective in its deepest essence.
“I’ve been stuck in a traffic jam for 10 minutes.” “The waiter brought me the wrong drink.” “My husband is looking at his phone again.” “I hate crying babies around me.”
Do you realize how extreme your reaction is to a simple event?
By simply becoming an observer and observing, you can reduce the stress you normally experience.
Tip 3: Assess the situation as it is
It’s not the end of the world, is it? What can you still do in this situation?
When you get stuck in a traffic jam or have to wait for your drink in a cafe, you can also use the time for other things.
For example, you can create a shopping list, update your mailbox, message a friend, and so on.
You will find that your life remains unchanged throughout the incident, even during a seemingly disturbing event.
Tip 4: Time heals all wounds
What will you think of this in a week, month or year?
We are often captivated by overreacting to situations in the present moment. In it we forget the consequences for the next day, week or month.
This tip helps in correctly assessing situations that we can experience as very bad.
By putting these situations into perspective in this way, you will notice that your intense feelings disappear over time.
This can take several days, weeks or months. For example, in the event of being fired or a divorce. Be patient. This too will pass.
Tip 5: See the situation as a temporary inconvenience
See the situation as a temporary inconvenience.
It would of course be nice if it would have gone your way, but the world is not like that.
Instead of labeling a situation as terrible or a disaster, consider it a minor, unimportant inconvenience.
It would be nice if a person didn’t check their phone in front of you, but this is only a temporary inconvenience, not an emergency.
Keep in mind that your reaction to situations may change. When you’re stressed about everyday things, you may have lost your perspective.
However, these daily things are often the cause of growing stress in your life.
Putting the situation into perspective can then help you to look at the situation honestly again with the right perspective.
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