7 Tips To Recover Quickly From Parental Burn Out

Tips To Recover Quickly From Parental Burn Out

Life as a father or mother is not easy, as a parent you have great responsibilities and children sometimes carry a heavy burden on you. Do you sometimes feel that the role as a parent is becoming too much for you? Then it may be that you suffer from parental burn out, or are developing one. So pay attention to these tips to recover quickly from parental burn out.

In this article I will cover all aspects of parental burnout. So read on quickly

Purpose of this article: Read this article and get to know the symptoms and causes of parental burn out and learn how you can recover from your (starting) burn out.

What is a parental burnout?

Many parents experience stress in the upbringing and care of their children.

Parents have to make many important choices for their families, taking good care of their children on a daily basis, and all of this even during stressful or busy times.

So it’s not surprising that you sometimes don’t know how to get it all done.

As a parent you usually cannot take a ‘vacation’ from your family.

It is a continuous duty to take care of your children, and that can be quite difficult at times. You then no longer manage to get satisfaction from parenthood and you mainly experience stress in your role as a parent.

Tips To Recover Quickly From Parental Burn Out

For some parents it is really too much at some point. They notice that they are ‘used’ and can no longer charge themselves properly. They cannot find new energy to take care of themselves and their families.

Due to long-term stress, it can be the case that you eventually end up in a so-called burn out. Do the cause and consequences lie in the care for the children and the family?

Then we call this a parental burn out.

People who suffer from parental burnout do not get the satisfaction of parenthood and temporarily lose their ability to care for their loved ones.

So it is important to do everything you can to prevent it from happening. In this article we will explain more about parental burn out and what you can do about it, so that you can hopefully enjoy parenthood again in the near future.

Symptoms of Parental Burnout

Many parents occasionally experience stress in their role and tasks as a parent, but not all of these parents actually have a parental burn out.

When is it really too much and do we speak of a parental burn out?

In this part of the article we discuss the symptoms that distinguish parental burnout from other forms of stress.

Watch out!

Every person is different and the way in which parental burnout manifests itself differs from person to person.

It is not the case that every person with parental burnout shows all the symptoms.

#1 You are very tired

The parent experiences extreme fatigue and exhaustion that does not go away even after getting enough sleep.

The parent feels completely burned out, as if there is nowhere to find any energy left to cope with their duties as a parent.

Often especially the prospect of the day with all the things that have to happen is too heavy a burden and that causes the parent to regularly feel distraught.

Tips To Recover Quickly From Parental Burn Out

#2 You feel like a failure as a parent

Parents with parental burn out feel that they are not taking care of their children well enough and that they are not doing enough as a parent.

They feel that they are inadequate as parents and are constantly comparing themselves with other parents.

They no longer see in which things they do well, but only have an eye for what is not going well and are therefore continuously dissatisfied with themselves.

#3 You are indifference to your child

When you’re burned out, you probably won’t be able to muster enough emotion for your child.

Due to parental burnout, some parents partially or largely lose the empathy they normally feel for their child.

They no longer manage to empathize and support their children emotionally.

#4 You lose your efficiency

You don’t manage enough to get the things you need to do as a parent.

Even the smallest things seem like impossible tasks at some point.

You lose your efficiency because it is no longer possible to plan and do the daily activities.

#5 You are very irritable

Some parents with parental burnout do not react indifferently, but on the contrary extremely irritable or even aggressive towards their children.

They can have nothing and get angry at the slightest thing. This can also be a sign of parental burn out!

#6 You don’t get satisfaction from parenthood

The many things you have to do as a parent are difficult for many people.

But if you also no longer derive satisfaction from it, it becomes an impossible task.

When you are in a parental burn out, you are no longer able to enjoy the fun sides of your children and parenthood.

You are no longer satisfied with your own qualities as a parent and you do not enjoy having children.

Do you notice that you display several of these characteristics? Or do you experience a lot of stress as a parent and do you want to prevent it from happening?

Then read the tips in this article and see what you can change about your situation, so that you can enjoy parenthood again.

#7 Overwhelmed by Motherhood

There seems to be a lot more pressure and stress for mothers today than in the past.

Children increasingly have their own busy social life, which no longer only takes place in their own neighborhood.

Very good and pleasant for the children, but this also changes the role for the parents.

For example, there are mothers who have to get in the car with one or more of their children every day of the week and drop and pick them up here and there, depending on the activities, sports or clubs.

As a mother or father of busy children, you are constantly organizing everything.

You run around trying to get everyone everywhere on time, getting dinner ready in between, and barely getting a break to breathe.

Our children are therefore busier, but we also have higher and higher expectations of ourselves as parents.

Social media and other factors make us more and more inclined to compare ourselves to others.

We measure our success in parenting very strongly by what we see around us.

Do you ever find yourself thinking things like:

‘ Sophie’s mother bakes cookies with her daughter every week, what a bad mother I am, that I never do that…’ or  ‘Merel’s father goes to the sport 5 times a week and always stays to encourage her. encourage, why don’t I?’ 

There is a good chance that when you are raising children, you continuously look around you and are influenced by what you see in your environment.

Very logical, after all, there is no manual for perfect parenting and we learn by observing and trying.

However, it should not be the case that you set impossibly high demands on your own parenting. You can’t do everything and you shouldn’t want to.

Besides the fact that the interpretation of parenthood changes over time, we often also have less time!

Many parents are single and working, or both work a lot, leaving little time to enjoy the children. And in the time that there is, a lot has to be done.

The stress factors regularly pile up, until the parent really can’t handle it anymore. It is important to get professional help in this case or before.


7 Tips to prevent or cure burnout as a parent

#1 Don’t compare yourself to other parents

Don’t make impossible demands on yourself by constantly comparing yourself to other parents.

You do what you think is right for your child and what is within your capabilities.

A child really doesn’t have to take every opportunity and go to all kinds of different friends, sports clubs or classes every week to be happy.

Above all, your child needs a happy and stable parent, and you can do that by not letting yourself go crazy.

Tips To Recover Quickly From Parental Burn Out

Don’t make impossible demands on yourself by constantly comparing yourself to other parents.

You do what you think is right for your child and what is within your capabilities.

A child really doesn’t have to take every opportunity and go to all kinds of different friends, sports clubs or classes every week to be happy.

Above all, your child needs a happy and stable parent, and you can do that by not letting yourself go crazy.

Talk to other parents, learn from other parents, take what you think is useful, but don’t torture yourself with comparisons between yourself and other parents.

You and your child will benefit from this.

#2 Be realistic

Choose your goals and the things that are important to you and get started.

As a parent, give yourself time to learn and don’t be too hard on yourself.

Raising up is not perfect for anyone, and we all hate an annoying fight at the table or the fact that you could not be present at a match.

Set realistic goals for yourself and be happy when things work out.

As a parent, you don’t have to strive for perfection, or to be the best mother.

By being realistic and mild with yourself, you as a mother or father will last much better.

#3 Find ways to relax

Try to find some moments in your day when you can relax for a few minutes.

Just sit down in a quiet spot for a while while your children play/sleep/do homework/read and if necessary indicate that they are not allowed to disturb you for a while.

Put your phone down and sit down without doing anything and just grab those 5 minutes for yourself.

For example, you can use mindfulness exercises for this, but you don’t have to.

You will see that after a moment of rest you are calmer again, you have things in order again and radiate more peace to your child.

There is a good chance that they will also respond more calmly to you because of this, children are very sensitive to stress!

#4 Communicate with your partner

Your partner knows you well and can probably be the first to spot that things are going in the wrong direction. So pay attention to each other and enlist each other’s help. Be open to the other person and make the subject negotiable.

Try to ensure that you do not end up in accusations about role division and the other as a parent.

First simply indicate that it is now too much for you and you need the help of the other.

He or she may be able to (temporarily) relieve you of responsibilities or activities.

In the long run, it is then wise to start a conversation about how you will prevent this from happening again in the future and possibly redistribute certain tasks.

#5 Communicate with your children

Make sure your kids understand that mom or dad loves them very much, but they are not a jack of all trades.

You can’t be everywhere at once, do everything and have earned a moment alone every now and then.

Discuss this with your children and teach them that, for example, they try some things themselves before they ask you.

#6 Take care of your own needs too

As a mother or father you will have to ensure that you are in balance. You then radiate that in your upbringing and to your child. So look for ways to relax yourself or do something you really enjoy.

A new course, dance class, drawing, writing, puzzles, yoga, swimming, it doesn’t matter what.

And therefore structurally plan time for these activities and yourself.

And no, it doesn’t matter if this means that your child cannot go to another club on Thursday.

You need it to live your own life, to relax or exert yourself, to continue to feel happy about yourself and yourself as a parent.

#7 Focus on the things that are going well

Think about what you are proud of in parenting and as a parent.

For example, make a list for yourself with 5 things you like about your child, that are going better than before or that you occasionally enjoy very much.

Try to add an extra item to the list every day. You quickly realize that there are actually a lot of things that you can be proud of as a parent! Do you see your son helping his brother?

That your daughter enjoys your delicious food? Did you enjoy playing with one of your children today?

Does your daughter have fewer tantrums than she used to? Do you often make time to read to your child?

All things that you can be very happy with and that you as a parent can and should be proud of.

Focus on the things that are going well and build on them. Make time more often to play involved with your child, for example.

Or give a compliment more often when your son or daughter does something nice or fun.

You will notice that if you see the positive things again, you also enjoy parenting more.

Are you stuck? Seek professional help!

We all want to do very well and be a very good parent to our child. But sometimes you just can’t manage it alone and it is better, both for yourself and for your child, if you seek help.

If you notice that you are already far into a parental burn out, the chance is probably small that you can get out of it yourself.

You really need outside help. Do you find yourself exhausted and really can’t find the energy for parenthood?

So don’t hesitate and ask for help! Go to your doctor and get help.

In addition, people around you and other parents who have gone through the same can also help you very well.

Be open about your problems to your partner and to relatives and friends you trust.

Or search online for other parents who can help you. You are not alone and as a parent you do not have to solve it alone.

Have you or your partner had a parental burn out in the past and are there any tips you would like to share with us? Leave it in a comment below!

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