Transformation: these 10 phases are just part of it


During a transformation process you go through different phases. Processes take place in your inner world that you cannot reach mentally.Your consciousness is challenged and stretched. Sometimes you crack at the seams, then again you see crystal clear how it all works. And every now and then you lose all hope that you are going anywhere at all Below you can read which phases are normal in terms of transformation.

Transformation often starts with frustration. Dissatisfied with how it is. At the same time, there is a dawning realization that you don’t want to go on like this. You often don’t know what is needed yet, but at least you don’t want a repetition of the same.

Not the same kind of work again, not the same dependency in your relationship again . But a crisis, such as loss of a job, loved one or health, can also be a starting point. Suddenly you know that life has to be lived. A fear falls away – that of losing. After all, you’ve already lost something.

The best way to get moving is to shift your attention from the outside world to your inner world, and from your future and past to the present. Your existing thinking patterns will not take you any further. And you will not find solutions or ways out in the outside world, in what you already know; there it remains as it is until you change yourself.

Following your own heart and intuition always set that movement in motion. Questions like: ‘What does my inner voice say?’, or ‘What makes my heart sing?’ will help you on your way; from where you are, to where you want to be.

Not knowing

Between where you are and where you want to be is unknown territory. You begin to step out of your old foundation, which is no longer adequate, but the new foundation has not yet been built.

And until your next (and bigger) build starts to take shape, you’ll be in limbo. Your new creation is subject to different laws than the old one. You will have to master it first. “Is this never going to end?” is the question you can ask yourself.

To feel

In that no man’s land, emotions can surface, such as fear of the unknown, anger about the way things were, or deep loneliness. The trick is to offer them space, to feel them, to make contact with them, without judging them or rejecting them.

They are feelings that often could not be felt for a lifetime, or for lifetimes. You are not seen, not heard, not reflected in your light. You can stay sad or angry about that forever, or take on that role for yourself.


In that no man’s land an initiation takes place. When you realize that, you can get through it with more confidence and commitment. You move to the ‘next level’ in your consciousness, where you get more in touch with your soul.

And that happens precisely because you start to face personal obstacles and overcome them. They turn out to be motives for development, and ultimately: to know who you really are and what you come here to do. So transformation is actually changing your consciousness; turn the lead into gold.


During your initiation process you encounter yourself; you have to fight your own dragons and demons.
With your sword, and with love. The demons say you’re worthless, or you’ll never get out of here. The dragons make you give up, yet fall back on what’s safe and familiar, or make you work even harder to get the love you deserve. Observe them, invite them into your consciousness. It can provide periods of great insight.


Sometimes you get to a point where your ego breaks. Suddenly you discover that your ideas about reality are not true, or that you have kept people at a distance with your own defense mechanisms, or that you have had to fight so hard to feel safe.

And at that point you can no longer maintain your old survival mechanisms with the same strength and conviction. It can lead to a phase of deep fear or despair; nothing works the way it used to. That letting go process sometimes takes on violent forms, but it doesn’t have to be. The ego can also ‘dissolve’ more gradually.


At every step on your path you have a choice. Will you continue on the old road, or will you take a different one? Every insight is a clue that you can follow.

The new road is usually the direction that feels unsafe, unknown, or exciting. He is not paved; neither by others nor by yourself. Be your own signpost. And when fear arises, give it space (acknowledge it, feel it), but don’t let it sit in your driver’s seat.


During your transformation you can end up in what is called ‘holding mode’. Not an easy stage. This is where you really start to feel your potential, and at the same time it is not yet manifested; your new consciousness has not yet translated to the outside world. Sometimes the hold takes years.

Yet there is no standing still, rather integration. All your new consciousness takes time to ‘settle in’, to descend. You begin to embody what you have learned.


And then suddenly it’s there; your outer world begins to match with your inner world. By feeling your desires, you begin to attract what you want most. By facing your dragons and demons, you will discover where you have stopped yourself.

By aligning your head, heart and action with the universe, you create instead of survive. And then? Then a new transformation or creation cycle begins, in which you descend deeper and perhaps go through the same phases again, but differently. In any case, you do it with more love for yourself and more confidence in the outcome.


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