Maybe you are a single-born twin or multiple. It is a loss that can color your whole life, without you being aware of it. You have trouble making connections, you find it difficult to maintain relationships and you don’t feel safe with yourself.
You can carry the feeling of being all alone with you for the rest of your life.
Struggling with guilt
Have you been looking for something or someone all your life, but you don’t know exactly what or who? Do you also feel that you are often alone and are you afraid to take on life for real? Do you also struggle with feelings of guilt and do you also miss the connection? Then you may be twins or multiples. One in ten people is part of twins or multiples. In this article, you will discover if you are one.
A traumatic experience
In my practice, I regularly meet single-born twins or multiples. In the womb, they were two or more, but only they came into the world because the others died. This is a very traumatic experience. After all, you experience death in the womb. Where you would be born together, you are now on your own. You can carry the feeling of being all alone with you for the rest of your life. This makes it difficult for you to make connections, you find it difficult to maintain relationships and you do not feel safe and at home with yourself.
Signs that you are twins born alone
The loss of your twin is an incredibly deep trauma that can completely control your life without you being aware of it or knowing what the exact cause is. Sometimes you find out spontaneously because, for example, you read an article about lost twin halves and you recognize yourself in the characteristics. Or you have a suspicion that is confirmed by your mother. Directions are:
- An abnormally large belly in early pregnancy
- A miscarriage
- Interim blood loss
- An ultrasound in which more than one embryo is clearly visible
- Multiple placentas present after birth
If you want to know whether you are twins or multiples, there are several ways to find out, such as a family constellation.
A loss for your life
It is about a great loss that although you have not experienced it consciously, it leaves its mark: on a physical, emotional, energetic, and spiritual level. Even though you have no tangible memories of it, trauma is stored in our bodies. Triggers in everyday life keep touching that painful memory. In addition, the stress that has arisen in the womb has a huge impact. In your adult life, it can cause destructive behavior and hindering patterns that reduce your zest for life and vitality.
You can unconsciously deal with this loss throughout your life, says the writing duo Austermann in ‘ The drama in the mother’s womb ‘. “From the first moment of conception, as a human being in the making, you are aware of everything that happens around you. The body’s consciousness stores all experiences. You can observe how your parents interact and how your mother feels,” said psychologist Alfred R. Austermann and social educator Bettina Austermann.
In the book, they explain how twins or multiple births perceive their brother(s) or sister(s) in the womb. How they hear each other’s hearts beat and play together in the ocean of the amniotic fluid. After birth, all experiences from time in the belly seem forgotten. “One in ten pregnancies starts with twins.
When one of the fetuses dies, it is a tremendous shock to the surviving twin, of which he or she is later unaware. An emptiness remains in the soul. For example, the consequences of this early loss can include loneliness, inexplicable guilt, and an unsatisfactory desire for unity. The lost twin is sought everywhere.”
Do you recognize yourself in the characteristics?
- The feeling of looking for something all your life, not knowing what
- A deep-seated fear of rejection
- Missing basic safety
- Vitamin B12 deficiency
- Difficult and/or high breathing
- Experiencing a great loss
- Two different eye colors
- Adrenal Fatigue
- Need a lot of space
- Chronic fatigue
- A great sense of responsibility
- Dissatisfied feeling
- Parentification: taking over the role of a parent as a child
- Unable to deal with the loss of a loved one or pet
- Unexplained physical and emotional complaints
- Can’t make choices
- Having trouble closing business
- Inability to relinquish business and/or relationships
- being highly sensitive
- Not really knowing what belongs to you and the other
- Experiencing anxiety in your life
- Show please-behavior
- Difficulty with intimacy
My personal quest
There is often a lot that precedes the moment when you start looking for the origin of your complaints. That is exactly where the search for your unborn twin or multiple halves begins. My search started during years of illness. Unexplained fears, physical symptoms and many depressions led me to the immense loss I experienced in the womb. Discovering the drama that took place there explained a lot. But not everything.
The themes of twin or multiple births also often relate to another underlying trauma that wants to be seen. I finally came to terms with it all. Above all, it gave me a deeper understanding of myself and the soul. As a result, I regained more peace and tranquility.
The great lack of the other that can never be filled, showed me above all my own emptiness. I learned to no longer experience it as emptiness, but as space. With which I gave myself all the space to be who I want to be with all my imperfections, talents, gifts, and sensitivities. Apart from the other.
By acknowledging the loss, I rediscovered myself and my light. By giving my lost halves the place they deserve, I put myself in my place. To then do from that place what I came for: be the pure channel to bring healing where it is desired, requested, and needed. Finally, it showed me my own greatness. Which I eventually fully immersed myself in, so that I am able to let you experience your greatness as well.