Sunday, December 4, 2022
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Trust as a basis

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This time a more personal blog than usual. Usually I don’t really write about my own life, but more about what strikes me, this time a lesson for me personally, which can also teach others.

As you have read in my bio (see Nadia’s blog, ed.) , I was pregnant with the second. 8 weeks ago we welcomed our second wonder of the world. It soon became clear to me that this man has a lot to teach me.

hand in hand

Already during my pregnancy I noticed that TRUST was a key word. Our little man was still in breech presentation for a long time. Even when space was limited. I knew intuitively that I had to give him the confidence that he could turn himself, if he wanted to. After all, it could also be his choice to be born that way.

When I tried to make contact with him one night, I felt that he was still breech because he was afraid I would think he would be and be born just like his big brother. Subconsciously I had often played the scenario of my previous birth in my head, hoping that I would have such a birth again, after all I had had a beautiful birth.

I explained to him that I knew very well that he was different from his brother and that he is perfect just the way he is. I also explained to him that a breech birth would be more difficult for both him and me,

it might even be a caesarean section, explaining to him how that would look and feel for him. I also explained how a birth could be at home, less bright light, fewer people, only dad and the midwife, and how the atmosphere at home is different than in the hospital.

However, I left the decision to him, he could choose whether he wanted to run. I told him that I trusted his judgment, he knew what was best for him. That same night I felt him try to turn, very slowly. When I had an ultrasound the next day, it turned out to be “good”!

I must confess that during that period I not only felt confidence, fear also regularly passed by, but I knew that this was not good and so I tried to convert it back quickly.

And then he was born, our champ! Like all babies, he lost weight first. Unfortunately, this was a bit more than the 7 percent that the midwives “may” say, so they got involved. It should be fed. I was against this, because our other son is quite allergic, so as long as it goes well, I want to feed him myself.

Besides, they hadn’t even given him and me a chance to reconcile! The discussions about this continued for several days, as our little one did not gain weight, but his weight remained the same. And every day I was hit again. ‘

Because I felt that it was going to be okay, that he needed time and that I had to trust him! Every day my confidence was shattered, but every day I found it again later. Until the day I could prove I was right. He had arrived and not just a little. This has continued well and he is clearly growing very fast now.

In his short life, our son had already shown us twice that we should trust him.

And then yesterday, through a friend on Facebook, I read this:

Dear Dad and Mom,

When I was not yet born you took folic acid because you were afraid that I would get spina bifida;

When I was just in Mama’s tummy, you didn’t celebrate this party with others because you were afraid I would leave;

When I was in your belly for 20 weeks, you did an ultrasound because you were afraid my organs wouldn’t develop properly;

When I was about to be born, you were afraid of the pain I would cause Mama when I was born;

When I was just born I was pricked in the heel because you were afraid that I might all have abnormalities;

When I was just born you gave me vitamin K because you were afraid I would get a blood clot in my head;

When I was just born you gave me vitamin D because you were afraid that I would develop osteoporosis;

When I was a few months old you weighed and measured me at the child health center because you were afraid that I might be bigger or smaller than the other children;

When I was a year old I got regular injections because you were afraid that I would develop diseases;

Dear mom and dad, everything you do is good. For me, life would only be easier if you felt a little more confidence here on Earth.

Fortunately, I didn’t start from fear during my pregnancy, but it was a huge  eye-opener , this message.baby

This lesson is one for many of us. We must also give them back the rock-solid basic trust that our children have in us. They are only small and may not be able to do much yet, but they have beautiful souls and know so much. We can learn so much from them and one of those things is that trust, in addition to love, should be the foundation for our bond with them .

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