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Uncertainty and Confidence- several layers in depth

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Insecurity is something that many people struggle with. I can say though; everybody! How much are you worth? What do you have self-confidence about? One is insecure about his appearance, the other about his knowledge, the other about his way of communicating, unsure about whether the house is clean enough, the upbringing of the children. In traffic, …you name it!.

Uncertainty comes from the emotion: ‘I am not good enough’. When are you good enough? Because, with whom or with whom do you compare yourself? What is your frame of reference?

Everyone has a different life, and everyone fills it in for themselves in a different way. So you can’t really compare yourself with others.

Where does that uncertainty come from? That uncertainty comes from the place where you grew up, the country, your school, your upbringing, your past. The way you were communicated with when you were little creates an important self-esteem formation. How valuable do you consider yourself? Pointing a guilty person is useless! It’s not about that, it’s about knowing where uncertainty comes from and that you can do something about it yourself. It’s your life!

By forming (conditioning) the way of thinking about yourself, you attract people and situations that confirm how you stand in life. As you see the world, so will you create your life. What does your life look like right now? What could be better ?

The emotion ‘I’m not good enough’ has a lot of influence on your life. If you think you’re not good enough, you’ll act like it! To keep getting the confirmation from your environment that you are not good enough. Unconsciously of course! Because it is in your conviction, in your energy. That can be in your work, in your relationship, and towards yourself.

How does your boss talk to you? How does your partner talk to you?   How do you talk to yourself? Which way is that? That you can do everything and that you are worth gold, or that you have done something wrong again and you still have a lot to learn….’A dime will never become a quarter’…

Have you ever had the chance to learn from your ‘mistakes’ or have you been punished or belittled? How did you communicate in the past?

How do you communicate with yourself now?

worthlessAre you telling yourself that you are a whopper and that you are worthy of a good life? To live in abundance (which has a different meaning for everyone)

Or do you tell yourself that it can always be better, that you have to do more of your best and that someone else is better than you? That someone else works harder, or is more intelligent and therefore earns more?

There are people who have an enormous aura of self-confidence, but feel insecurity inside. Often the people who radiate great self-confidence don’t realize that the outside world admires them and sees them as a strong person who has a lot of self-confidence.

How do you grow security and self-confidence?

By recognizing and affirming yourself when you have done something right. Again and again! When you have cooked well, give yourself a compliment! Did you run 5 or 40 km? TOP! Give yourself a pat on the back! When you have solved a difficult problem at work, don’t dismiss it like that; ‘yes I can do this’. Just say to yourself; Well done! Simple right?!

Recognizing yourself every time and confirming that you are doing it right, makes you realize that you are doing a lot of good after all! You program your mind to ‘certain’ instead of ‘uncertain’, as it were. Leave that ‘I’m not good enough’ behind and feed the energy of self-confidence. That will bring you more because; what you focus on grows. It is something you can grow within yourself.

Do you ever compliment yourself? Often we think everything we do is normal!! Don’t think it’s ‘normal’, but Good or Fantastic! Acknowledge yourself in the piece you are good at.

Also recognize your growth points

Fear of failure-uncertainty-perfectionism-and-stressAcknowledging yourself in the part you are not so good at also works well. When you can put your pride aside and ask for help from someone else, (you can do this well and I can do that well), you can join forces. Admit that someone else is better at something.

As long as you stay in the feeling of ‘not being able’, you will block yourself in the piece from growing and gaining confidence. You maintain it yourself, by wanting to do it all yourself, and thereby repeatedly confirming that you cannot do it. Your focus is on not being able to and that’s how you maintain uncertainty. It’s just so much fun to work together and learn from each other!

Look at yourself differently, from a different perspective , also at the other, it is a shame to focus your energy on the negative. Education is often based on pointing out mistakes. Very sorry. It is better to reward for the good things, that works much better, it gives you more self-confidence and it is also clearer.

Indicate what is allowed, instead of what is not allowed. When you forbid something, you no longer know what is allowed or what is good. You pass that on to your own children.

Hierarchy is a paradigm. (limiting belief)

In the past, not so many generations ago, there was a lot of respect for doctors, politicians, teachers, parents, etc. There was a lot of hierarchy and status-based thinking. As soon as you put someone towering on a large pillar, you automatically place yourself low.

Do you realize that? How uncertain is that? You give away all your trust to someone else. But also the responsibility! So you give the helm of your life to someone else. From your own insecurity. Shame! Who else do you put on a statue? Who do you look up to? Think about that…..

Equivalence

It used to be that way, that hierarchy. Fortunately, a lot less these days. We now address the president by his first name! There has been more equality, you have more of your own voice. Because it is still ingrained in many people, to think in a hierarchy, we still have some steps to take. But that doesn’t matter, a path is formed by walking.

Inheriting uncertainty….. A deeper layer.

A miasma is a fear or sadness, a deep emotion that you have taken over from (ancestors) parents, it is entwined in your cell memory.

Emotions are stored in your body. Many people think that memory is only in your brain, but that is not true. Your entire body is a repository for memories.

For example, sadness is stored in the cell memory of your lungs, fear in the cell memory of your bladder.

You are 50% your father and (and his family) 50% your mother (and her family)! In this way you carry with you the unprocessed sadness and fears of your ancestors. Can you imagine when your (ancestors) parents experienced the war? Or something else serious? Can you imagine that your ancestors lived in poverty and felt inferior?

Can you imagine that there is still something inside you, without you noticing it? Have you ever had that feeling that something touches you and you didn’t even know it was inside you? Doors can just be opened that you don’t know exist!

As soon as a button is pressed by an event, it shoots open and there can sometimes wake up a very deep emotion, something that comes back in every generation. Lighter stuff too! Do not be afraid. It doesn’t always have to be very serious and heavy.

Many people think it makes sense that you can inherit diseases, but remember that inheriting emotions and fears are just as strong in your DNA as diseases!

worthlessness

I’m going to give you an example of what certainly happened a lot in the past and is still affecting many people today;

Suppose your great-great grandmother was a maid to a wealthy family. Your great-great grandmother was still young, maybe 13, and had to work because of the poverty in the family. She got pregnant at the hands of the master of the house,

that happened a lot in the past! Your grandmother was blamed for that, fired. Pregnant with no money, no social benefits, how would you feel then? Still worthless! That worthlessness is experienced very intensely by your great-great grandmother at that moment, the baby in the belly (your grandmother or grandfather) will certainly pick up on the worthlessness.

That child has no idea what worthlessness is, but will really feel completely worthless. Baby is born and through the conviction of worthlessness it will shape its life. He or she becomes an adult and also has children. That’s how it goes. Until someone realizes that it can be done differently. That can go on from generation to generation!

Can you imagine something with that? There is a lot to heal in that part. Just in the realization that certain emotions are not yours but your ancestors’, with that you already ‘heal’ a lot. You don’t have to do anything with that!

The awareness alone then does its healing work. Do you know anything from your family past? Do you know anything about your ancestors? That something happened? Which has had quite an impact what has entered the DNA entanglement and continues for generations. It’s much more than you can imagine.

We are massively insecure! We have massive admiration for others. Start cultivating admiration for yourself and you will soon reap the benefits!

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