Monday, December 5, 2022
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Victimhood vs Mastery

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Everyone has felt like a victim at some point, everyone feels sorry for themselves. That can be big things like abuse, illness or loss or something futile like bumping your big toe. Whatever it is, no matter how big or how small, we all have the right to ‘be pathetic’. I talk about ‘right’ because we humans have free choice in how we feel.

Good thing, too. If you think you’re pathetic, a victim, for whatever reason, that’s okay. No one can stop you. Sometimes it’s just necessary to feel pathetic. It can catalyze a moment or period when you allow yourself to be cared for. By yourself or people you love. And we all need that.

Pay attention to the (nuance) differences between ‘acting pathetic’ on the one hand and taking the time, space and energy to take care of yourself or have yourself taken care of on the other. The first is ‘victimhood’ and the second is ‘mastery’.

In my opinion, being a victim has a bad aftertaste because it indicates that you cannot do anything about it yourself.

I don’t agree with this. Of course, some circumstances are beyond your control and whether a certain difficult life situation is karmic or ‘soul-chosen’ or not I like to save for another discussion. However, you do have control over the way you deal with your life and the problems in it. And that’s where your mastery comes in.

Every moment you have the choice between victimhood and mastery. A choice that actually stems from a ‘primal’ choice below, that between fear and love. Do you live your life in fear as a victim or out of love and thus firmly anchored in your own mastery?

We’re all in on it, bouncing back and forth between these choices. One moment you feel so pathetic because… fill it in yourself. And again, you can. No one to stop you. But what do you actually think of it? Does it feel good for you to remain in your victim role longer than necessary?

The moment you suddenly have enough of yourself and your ‘pathetic behavior’ you can choose mastery.

That doesn’t mean you should beat yourself up about your past choices because you don’t think you did a good job. no. This puts you further into the victim role. When you choose mastery, you choose love instead of fear. Then you choose to feel the fear but not dwell on it.

From your chosen mastery you look at yourself with love and therefore also at the choices you have made up to that moment. You can forgive yourself where necessary but don’t wallow in regret or guilt. It’s no use to anyone, least of all you.

mastery
it’s all your fault

Have you ever noticed that people who feel sorry for themselves and behave like victims are actually very unattractive at that moment?

literal; it doesn’t matter, that pathetic stuff. It’s just repels. Actually, no one is waiting for a partner, friend or family member who thinks they are pathetic.

We’ve all become gifted at publicly denying that fact and helping anyone who needs our help but let’s face it; In such a case, shouldn’t you first step over a certain resistance before you can offer that person your help? If you are very honest?

We prefer to help someone else when they recognize the situation as it is and then deal with it to the best of their ability. Victimhood is different from being in need of help. You can stand firm in your mastery and still need help. In fact, a true ‘master’ asks and/or receives help because ‘he knows that it is necessary for a while.

Knowing yourself and your own needs and then acting accordingly is mastery. Being able to receive help, love, care and attention without feeling like a victim is mastery. See, it seems like fine lines between one thing and another, but if you pay attention you will see that mastery is clearly recognizable.

Choosing mastery does not mean that there is no more fear. It means recognizing your fear for what it is, nothing more, nothing less. The action that follows signifies what you choose. Choosing love and empowerment while you’re afraid instead of pretending you don’t feel the fear or get stuck in it. The brave hero of fairy tales and stories is a true master; he acts in spite of his fear, not because he would not feel fear.

Who knows, maybe we’ll meet again in mastery. And if we happen to meet in a sad moment, I hope that at least one of us will remember that we don’t have to remain a sad hope and that we can choose again any moment. Good example is good to follow. I now choose love and empowerment and feel like a master of my life. And you?

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