Often this life lesson is learned in a male body. For centuries men have been told to keep themselves big and strong. When they showed their emotions or feelings, they were seen as weak. Fortunately, this has been changing in recent decades, but for many men communicating from the heart remains a challenge.
This life lesson is mainly learned in a relational atmosphere. Yet in our work we may also be asked to stand up for something honestly and openly and speak out. But attachment relationships (love relationships) are pre-eminently the area to learn this life lesson.
As a relationship therapist, I have worked with couples for years and taught almost every couple the technique of ‘subtitling’. Subtitle yourself and don’t assume that the other person will feel you – no, not even after 20 years… State what you need or what you long for, don’t expect this from the other. Expectations ruin relationships; it is a demanding attitude that has very little to do with love and respect for the other.
In addition to expressing your desires, a relationship is often about being allowed to express – in a very careful way – what the behavior of the other person does to you. For people who work from the Life Lesson Communication a very big challenge.
Is there something baby?
Are you sure?
Does this conversation sound familiar to you? Sometimes a partner shrouds in threatening silence, hiding behind the newspaper or on the laptop. On a non-verbal level steam is coming out of the ears, but still, there is ‘nothing’ going on. This cold war can even last for days for some. For a partner, this is a tough challenge to sometimes break the ice and at other times leave the other for what he is.
When entering into a conversation, be careful, respectful, and careful; someone who works with the life lesson communication does not consciously hurt you but is stuck in his inability. Sometimes it helps to just sit quietly next to the other person, put an arm around them and let them know non-verbally that you are there and that it is safe to speak.
Every time you succeed in speaking from the heart, another important step has been taken on the path of this life lesson. True mastery is about being able to fully feel how happy it can make you, when you can communicate with the other from the heart and experience the connectedness that arises from this.
I wish you a joyful journey!