Friday, December 9, 2022
Home Lifestyle Life What are we here to do on Earth? Life Lesson 9: Love

What are we here to do on Earth? Life Lesson 9: Love

It is a cliché that you have undoubtedly encountered: ‘You have to love yourself first, before you can love someone else.’ People who work with the life lesson Love invariably answer this: ‘I can’t love myself. I love you most of all.’

What am I doing here on Earth? What is the meaning of my life? Do you know it? This article, which is part of a series of 12 articles and can be read separately, discusses Lesson 9 of Life Lesson Theory, based on the work of Steve Rother. Lesson 9 is about Love

The life lesson love invites you pre-eminently to learn to love yourself first , before you give your love away to someone else. Loving yourself unconditionally and standing up for it evokes resistance from many people. It would be selfish to put yourself first. Loving someone else unconditionally is allowed, but loving yourself is antisocial.

Not surprising that many people think this way; our entire society is permeated with this message. How many songs are there about: ‘I love you’. Interestingly, the phrase “I need you” often follows this. Do you already feel the neediness that this kind of ‘loving’ causes?

Asking love through the detour

I always call this love ‘by the way’. We do not give it directly to ourselves but lay it down with someone else. It must meet our needs. ‘I don’t love myself, you have to do that’ it then becomes. Or – the Mother Teresa version – : ‘I don’t love myself, I don’t need that, I’d rather give away all my love.’ But how can you give when there’s nothing in your emotional bank account?

If we don’t love ourselves first, we become needy and place a (often unconsciously) set of demands on others. I don’t think this has much to do with love.

Giving is masculine, receiving is feminine

Added to this is the confusion that has arisen about giving and receiving. Giving is a masculine principle and receiving is feminine. Women are allowed to practice receiving again and the man in giving.

“Yeah but, isn’t it better to give than to receive?” I hear you ask now.

In our society we have conceived it this way; an overvaluation for the masculine, the giving, has arisen. But there is little to give if no one can receive. When you are in embodiment as a woman, it is necessary that you learn to receive.

Have you ever given a gift that was truly received with gratitude? Once you’ve experienced that, you know you’re giving back something priceless when you receive in gratitude.

Fear as a barrier

People who work with the life lesson of love are often trapped in fear of love. Sometimes it’s about fear of being alone. Out of that fear, they look for a partner (no matter what) or stay in relationships that are not nourishing. Sometimes the fear is about not daring to be vulnerable or the fear of opening the heart and daring to receive the love of another.

Fear is the polar opposite of love and underlies many negative emotions. It is the basis of all lack. Love, on the other hand, is the basis of all energy. That is, it only exists when it is in motion. When you practice loving yourself, you set this energy in motion. It can circulate through yourself to the other and back again. Only when you are filled with your self-love can you really give.

Protect your inner love by thoughts

Your emotional world is the source of love. This needs the security in you to be able to fully blossom. He needs protection and loving care, as you would give to a child. Cultivate your thoughts; make these lovingly to yourself. From this mental protection, your love can grow.

This is a great challenge for people who work with this life lesson. It often feels uncomfortable and that prevents continuing. Giving love to yourself first feels like the world is turned upside down; instead of asking for love from the outside world, it is now allowed to think of oneself first.

Just feel the fear when you get started with this. And you may also hear that stern voice of mom or dad shooting through you again: ‘Don’t just think about yourself..’ Change these stern words to: ‘Giving love to myself is nourishing.’ When you love yourself, you give out of abundance. If you try to get self-love through the other, you give out of want. Giving out of want is not real giving.

Think of yourself as a small child taking its first wobbly steps on a new road. Doesn’t that alone deserve a big loving hug and some warm words from yourself?

I wish you a loving journey!


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