Many people who work on the life lesson of Trust in their lives have experienced in their youth how others could not be trusted. Sexual abuse, abuse, or emotional neglect are experiences that activate the life lesson Trust in life. The child learns from a very early age that others cannot be trusted.
Although the invitation in these life experiences is to start trusting yourself, the child is too small and too deeply hurt for that. What often happens is that they would rather blame themselves for certain abuses than point a finger at the perpetrator. This is done to avoid feelings of powerlessness.
We often (unconsciously) prefer to feel guilty than impotent. Powerlessness brings us back to overwhelming feelings of despair, desperation, and panic. Guilt feelings mainly play out in the head, in the form of thoughts such as ‘if only I’ and ‘what if’ thoughts. Then it may seem that you have more control, but unfortunately, these tormenting thoughts greatly undermine your confidence. They invite you to sink into the pain that lies beneath. That pain can – when felt – be let go. Guilt, on the other hand, can keep us captive for life.
Watch out for the self-fulfilling prophecy
When you work with this life lesson, you will notice that you can discover a common thread in your life: you are always in unsafe situations and you attract people who cannot be trusted. You are regularly cheated; time and again the outside world mirrors your life lesson. Instead of ending up in a victim role over that umpteenth loved one who cheated on you, it’s better to shift your attention to yourself. Apparently, you work with the life lesson of trust; what can you do to trust yourself more?
How do you learn to trust yourself more?
Becoming aware that you mistrust yourself and the outside world is step 1. Step 2 is that you strengthen the contact you have with yourself. You do this by shifting your attention inward. When you shift your focus from the head to the heart, your confidence will slowly but surely flow more. If you make more room for your feelings and act accordingly, you will develop an inner sense of direction.
The head can very much distract you from yourself. The heart, on the other hand, gives clear and unambiguous messages: something feels right or not; so it is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Listening to and respecting these signals is how confidence in yourself can be restored. Following on from this, the outside world will also start to mirror you other life experiences.
Developing self-confidence is little more than learning to ‘trust yourself. So this is an inward-looking process that will eventually show itself in the outside world. Respecting yourself and listening to yourself are important pillars in this. Take a good look at whether you really want to meet up with that friend tonight? Does the contact you have with him still feel good? Should you confront and say what you actually have to say to him?
This is a small example to show how you act when you talk about self-esteem. It is a way in which you put honesty to yourself first. That is not always easy, because it means that sometimes you will have to face a confrontation. For people who work with this life lesson, however, it is very important that they do this. By appropriating their strength, they work on their self-confidence. So see every confrontation as a plus on your emotional bank account!
Developing confidence in life
In addition to learning to trust yourself, this life lesson is also about restoring trust in life. Everything you experience in this life is not for nothing. Every painful experience has its (divine) purpose. When you signed up as a soul to go back to Earth, you decided that this would be your path for this incarnation. Life always reaches out to you – every painful event again – an inviting hand; grab this one and become aware of what it is all about.
Mastering this life lesson
You have mastered this lesson when you stay true to yourself no matter what anyone else thinks or does. Faithful to your feelings and you appropriate the power that lies in it. When we learn to trust, we dare to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the source of our greatest strength. From an open heart, our energy field is broader and more stable. This makes it easier for us to absorb the blows of life. Negative experiences will therefore affect us less.
It is a misconception to think that you can protect yourself from painful life experiences by closing your heart. Not only do you experience the pain of a closed heart, but things also hit you much harder, simply because they have no room to leave. With an open heart you feel everything and in that feeling lies the healing. Everything we don’t want to feel stays and ends up in your shadow side, making it subversive. With an open heart, on the other hand, you stand in your power and are much better able to live life.
As inside, so outside; like this on a small scale, like this on a large scale: of course, your life will look different if you really start working on this every day. Scammers and impostors feel (unconsciously) perfectly that you are not to be messed with and like to walk around the block. How beautiful is that?!
I wish you a joyful journey!