What do men think? 10 surprising things men think


In this article I’m going to show you what men think .

The different thinking styles of men and women can sometimes lead to annoying miscommunications or hateful misunderstanding.

It is of course even worse if you run all kinds of deep analyzes on that crazy male brain and then drive yourself completely crazy…

Conversely, men often understand just as little about us.

I mean, for example, comments such as:

“ Why do women always go to the toilet together? Is it part of some great conspiracy against us men?”

 Or how about this one:

 “ Those girls do pillow fights in their thongs on girls nights”

Perhaps this is the worst:

“They intentionally unbutton their top to get a free drink from the bartender”

These kinds of thoughts can certainly run through a man’s brain every now and then. But are these special men’s thoughts  actually right?

Apart from the fact that all this is of course not true at all. I mean, everyone knows that girlsnights is a code language for an entire evening of Wrong than Wrong playlists on Spotify in our new dresses, while enjoying a good bottle of wine (or 2).

To then go to a bar on our heels and end up in a seriously bad bar on the bar (without those heels). And of course we never tell you which pub we’ve been to.

Anyway, where were we?

Oh yeah! Surprising men’s thoughts.

Don’t judge too early, because there are some surprising thoughts  from our great friends “the men” that you might not have expected 1,2,3 from them. It turns out that those men are only human!

After reading this article you can call yourself a real expert of the real men’s thoughts and you know exactly how it works in there! (Even though we sometimes think that there is very little going around in that handsome ball…)

  • Does a man really only think about one thing ? Long legs, intelligence or breasts? You learn what he really wants.
  • What you can learn from Mark Gungor are ‘Boxes’ .
  • The really (not so) complicated world of Men and WhatsApp.
  • Why men are goal-oriented and because of this they think in solutions .
  • A man is insecure! He can only hide it really well or pretend it isn’t! You read what his greatest fear is…
  • What you can learn from a man who crawls into his ‘man cave’ .
  • And a whole lot more…


But first: are men really as shallow as we think?


Nothing is less true! Men appear to prefer intelligence to breasts…

Research by Cambridge professor David Bainbridge shows that men who are looking for a suitable woman ( and I’m talking about a man who is serious with you ) first and foremost look at …  intelligence  .

This is quite a surprise! With our various prejudices against men, in which we say ‘They are all the same’ , ‘Why do I only come across these blunt dicks?’ and ‘He just wants sex!’ proclaim more than once.

Maybe these prejudices are true for men who want one night stands , but it’s really different if a man looks seriously at the future with you.

Then he really looks at very different qualities.

As Professor Bainbridge explains to  Hay Literary Festival:

“The main thing that people are looking for is intelligence. Surveys have shown time and time again that this is the first thing that men look for. It shows that she will be able to look after his children and that her parents were probably intelligent, suggesting that she was brought up well.”

In fact, his research even shows that men don’t care about breast size at all  .

The same appears to be true for legs. Long Bambi legs are generally seen as ‘ attractive’ , but according to Professor Bainbridge that is quite an exaggeration.

Beauty, Brains and not necessarily a pair of long Bambi legs.

Okay, we can do something with that!

By the way, turn this number on right away. We are in the good vibe and are well on our way with all the surprising thoughts in the male brain , so a suitable song like this certainly can’t hurt!


Thing 1: How to know exactly how the male brain works with Mark Gungor’s “boxes” principle

Are you familiar with the ‘boxes’ principle of Mark Gungor?


His principle is quite different from all the principles within our female brain .
I’ll show you : (it’s hilarious 😉 )

It’s actually pretty simple when Mark tells you. According to him, men think in different boxes .

The man has a box for work, a box for money, a box for sports and also a box for you ! The following rule is very important and this makes the male brain very different from our female brain:

The boxes in the man’s brain never touch!

For example, Mark says that when there is a conversation, the man in his head simply walks to that one box and removes the subject. Then the man carefully puts the box back and locks it neatly again.

Men just don’t care that much about all those different boxes, they handle them quietly in turn and certainly not with too much pressure behind them .

Mark tells that men have one very special box, “The Nothing Box” . If a man wants, he can simply think of nothing at all! We ladies might be a little jealous of that…


Thing 2: The (not so) complicated world of a man and WhatsApp


A man sees WhatsApp as a means of meeting . Point.

In fact, he doesn’t like small talk on WhatsApp at all. In the beginning, however, he will do this because he understands that this is necessary in order to eventually get you on a date .

WhatsApping a woman he likes, a man really only does with a few goals in mind:

  • Find out if you’re really as nice as you look
  • Find out what you have in common
  • Arranging a date with you, whereby he will only arrange a date if you meet the first two conditions.

But that last point is the most important thing for him, because WhatsApp is ultimately a kind of agenda for him. One where all his appointments with friends, family and of course you can be found. And of course he secretly thinks that date with you is the best 😉


Thing 3: A man thinks you don’t like sex

Men see themselves as bulls in rut and many men think that women ‘don’t like sex’ . However, men seem to have a completely wrong view of their partner’s libido. This is according to research done by the University of Toronto and Ontario. For example, many men think that their partner only feels like having sex once or twice a week , while most women find that far too little themselves.

The researchers think that men underestimate their partner’s desire to avoid a big fat ‘NO’ . By assuming that the woman has little or no sense, the man avoids a negative feeling .

This illusion can of course easily be solved girls, we know better!

So grab that man by the neck and explain your bed requirements to him in detail in practice. Then that surprising male thought has at least been eradicated.

And immediately know what men want in bed.


Thing 4: A man thinks he has to fix something

I personally find this the most annoying/surprising thought of men. This is exactly what I experienced with my ex.

I had my monthly party and once again saw the biggest bears on the road (which of course were nowhere to be seen the week before).

In short: Hormones .

In gear 10, I blurted out all sorts of things and the man in question was looking at me as if I was (which of course I am) from a completely different planet.

Then I almost yelled “You say something too!!!” He then only stammered that he would come up with a solution . I almost fell off my chair and said, “Neeeeheeeee, I just want to talk about it. Then get that.”

That’s exactly what he didn’t understand. A man sees such a conversation as a question, which must lead to a suitable solution or answer . Nothing is more annoying for us women, because we just want to spew something without a specific purpose or answer. Simply because we do.

So it’s smart to remember that men really do see themselves as problem solvers:

Complaining is an action signal to think about a solution .

What women appreciate in technical problems but hate in emotional problems (those bears on the road).


Thing 5: A man thinks a woman is an elusive being

Thing 5 connects seamlessly with Thing 4. In this video, Roue Verveer talks about the very recognizable miscommunication between men and women:

According to him, men just don’t feel like shit and that’s where it goes wrong!

According to him, women should learn to communicate according to the rules of men, then every day will be sunnier and we will stand side by side without any problems…


Thing 6: A man thinks he should take care of his own beans

When a man is feeling down, has a problem at work, or has a really good disagreement with a friend, he tends to withdraw and think about this problem.

He wants to shell his own beans.
The singer of De Likt also just prefers to do it all himself.

And only after doing all this himself first, does he want to talk to you about this subject.

In an article from the Volkskrant you can read how Marianne Colley shares her experience about the man who wants to take care of his own beans. She says that men do like to talk about emotions  with others, including us women .

However, because many women tend to immediately analyze the man extensively, he prefers to avoid such a conversation.

But if you can listen and manage your attention , she says you will be besieged by men who want to discuss their deepest feelings with you .

‘That is not always an undivided pleasure, says Colley, because it is certainly not always exciting what the men have on their minds: In an emotional sense, many men still get stuck in the Neanderthal stage.’

Men tend to either take action or simply wait patiently and hopefully for the evil thundercloud to pass.

One way is not better than the other. They are simply 2 different ways and we as women need to understand this.

It takes a lot of energy for men to say how they feel, share their problems and even share good news! Many men think that talking equates to exposing yourself and therefore to risk.

It’s something that is anything but easy for them, they are also scared to death to make mistakes !

What you can learn from a man who crawls into his ‘man cave’ (because he will crawl out on his own) 😉

A friend of mine often comes to me for advice. For example, if she doesn’t know what to do with her boyfriend again.

When they both come home after a busy day at work (with of course the well-known struggles during a working day) , her boyfriend sits down on the couch to watch a football match.

But she prefers to talk straight away about what happened that day.

So the man chooses to manage his problem internally and my girlfriend chooses to manage the problem jointly.

As John Gray says in his book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus  , the main difference between the two is that when a man has a problem, he withdraws . He then focuses on other things. You could say that men temporarily hide in their own ‘man cave’ and isolate themselves. At such a moment it is difficult for him to ask someone for advice.

We women, on the other hand, get emotional. Men often find this a bit overwhelming. The way we women relieve our fears and worries is by talking and (as mentioned before) throwing everything out, although we don’t always do this with a purpose.

We may not feel the need to push ourselves the way men feel. We women feel a little more allowed to cry and show our feelings.

So let the man in question literally take care of himself first, he likes to do this.

After this, you can try to get him to share his problem in a calm and above all not overwhelming way. As soon as a man knows that this is possible with you, it is over the dam and he will dare and want to share things with you faster in the future!


Thing 7: A man is insecure too! This is his biggest fear:

Many women do not realize this, but most men are terrified to approach a woman. This is because they are afraid of being rejected by that woman ! A man can pretend that all this is not the case or disguise this with a big mouth , but they are also insecure about this!

That’s why they drink themselves to death when they go out… because then they are more impulsive and their self-confidence increases. Then they suddenly dare to speak to that one beautiful woman!

Only… often only drunken talk comes out.

And if we find something unattractive…


Thing 8: A man thinks he is an individual in a social hierarchy

This is apparent from the book “You just don’t understand” by Deborah Tannen.

That’s because men see the world this way: a man is an individual in a hierarchical social order in which he can move up or down one spot .

In this world, conversations are a kind of negotiation where people try to keep the strong hand, and try to protect themselves from others who want to put them down, and boss them around.

That’s why men hate it so much when other people say they ” should” do something else, because then that person ” plays the boss ” over them.

You can imagine that we women often come a little too close to his hierarchical order, and he becomes afraid of being knocked out of his rank.

Tips for us to deal with these thoughts:

  • Don’t try to resist it, but keep it in mind.
  • Try to criticize a man as little as possible. Let him solve his own problems or brood over his own failure first. (He thinks this is bad enough himself.)
  • If he wants your advice, ask him if he does want to hear your opinion. Rather not: then not! A man always finds a way to get it done, because he doesn’t want to fail.

So only criticize what is really important to you. So you don’t have to tell him to use a different board when spreading the bread.

No, criticize the important stuff .

For example, don’t say, “Now you knocked over that pile of T-shirts again.” But: “Woohoo, I tried so hard on that pile of T-shirts, you knock them over!” Always say it in a calm and non-aggressive tone. The message will get to him better.

These can all be reasons why a man in love suddenly becomes distant.

Thing 9: He finds it unreliable too feminine

Men like ‘feminine women’ . But it can also all become a bit too feminine and he breaks down again. So ladies, cherish your masculine traits.

British researchers let men choose from portrait photos of composite women. Half of the faces were super feminine, the other half had some masculine features .

The researchers asked the men which woman they would enter into a short-term relationship with and which woman they would like to marry and have children with.

What turned out?

Women with extremely feminine features are more likely to be labeled as unreliable than women with a few masculine features.

Men therefore prefer a long relationship with someone who has more masculine traits.

The revelation of this opinion comes from  Reddit , where numerous men responded to a poll. This one was dubbed in style as ‘ Things that women think makes them more attractive to men, while men find them less handsome because of that.’

1. Drawn eyebrows

Of course: nobody likes 90s stripes. But we are convinced that a touch of eyebrow pencil can work wonders.

2. Exaggerated Browns

Do the men mean women who look like carrots? Then: quite rightly so. But of course there is nothing wrong with a layer of brown.

3. Too much perfume

We now have a suspicion that for men, excess is indeed harmful.


Thing 10: A man thinks he has to make an effort for a valuable woman

Men want to feel like they’re hitting on you thanks to their decorating skills. After that, he just wants to feel like he was able to get into a relationship with you because he’s done his best for you!

He wants to be admired and confirmed

Men like to prove themselves. And not only does he want to perform, he also wants that to be seen by everyone. He needs to be admired and to receive respect and validation.

A man also wants to do something for us women. He will instinctively want to take care of you. That simply gives him a good and, above all, masculine feeling.

That’s why some men work so much. He equates a lot of work and earning a lot of money with a lot of worry. For the modern, independent and successful woman, he is hardly needed in that area anymore.

If he sees no other ways to take care of her, this will quickly make him feel a little useless.

So he must be able to protect you, even if you are a strong woman.

The instinct to want to protect and support a woman is deeply rooted in a man. Even if a woman is verbally very assertive, she has completed a self-defense course, and always has a can of pepper spray in her bag: that need will not disappear with him for the foreseeable future.

As a woman you don’t suddenly have to let everything fall out of your hands, because that man will pick it up for you.


What is important is that you empathize with how the man feels (sometimes unconsciously). And you can take that into account. By taking into account and responding to his masculine need to protect you as a strong woman.

  • Give him confirmation of his masculine strength: “I can’t get that lid off the applesauce sweetie..” or “OMG, will you please come and get a really big spider?” (Success not guaranteed 😉 )
  • Give him his share and express your appreciation for it: “I have applied your advice to work and I do feel more comfortable with it, I just needed this, thank you!”
  • Let him excel in his field: “Will you help me with my spelling, I know you can do that well.”

So, expert of men’s thoughts! There’s more to that handsome man’s ball than we thought, isn’t there?  I think you can go on with these surprising men’s thoughts .

Are you still curious about that male brain, their different kinds of thoughts and view on women?

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