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Home Lifestyle Life What Thinking You’re Ugly For Affects Your Health (Video)

What Thinking You’re Ugly For Affects Your Health (Video)

First things first: Have you ever looked down on yourself or addressed yourself with “I’m ugly?” Rest assured, you are not alone. Perhaps you are someone with an immense self-love , but still with occasional moments of self-doubt. And that is completely understandable. We live in a society with a perpetuated belief that beauty is on the outside and it is sometimes hard to ignore that message every day.

However, when you begin to notice that those thoughts are fueled by self-loathing rather than self-love, then it’s time to ring your own bell. The moment you find that your thoughts are filled with insecure shame about your body and a negative view of yourself, instead of self-confidence, self-love and positivity, ask yourself: “Why do I feel this way anyway? And when did I start to let my self-esteem determine my appearance?”

think you're ugly
Photo by Trinity Kubassek

Even if you don’t have a negative self-image, you undoubtedly know someone who does. An astonishing amount of people, about 10,000 a month, ask Google, “Am I ugly?”

I regularly tell my friends how beautiful they are. Countless times I have listened to their perceptions about their appearance, how ‘ugly’ they think they are and every time it scares me. These are my friends, the most beautiful people I know! How is it possible that they don’t see their own beauty the way I see it? That they don’t value themselves at all the way I value them?

Also, people can sometimes take compliments completely wrong. In fact, by complimenting someone on their physical appearance, we focus too much on how we look. Personally, I think that when you say, “Gosh! You look gorgeus!” that this brightens their day, because I know it brightens my day. However, I encourage you to also compliment people on their inner beauty, which is what really counts.

Social media is also part of this. People worldwide are constantly following social media, which boosts self-esteem through the number of ‘likes’ or the number of comments received on posts. This situation is especially prevalent among young, easily impressionable adolescents, who grow up in a very different world from the world we grew up in, namely the world where the roots of social media and pop culture lie.

Even the most beautiful person in the world can be overcome by body shame or incredibly low self-esteem. Countless people assume that if you look beautiful then you won’t have any problems in your life, which is rarely the case. You can’t assume that you know someone based on appearance, which is also a huge misunderstanding of social media.

The common denominator of this is that all those people who experience these internal struggles are giving more and more power to the outside world to determine their self-esteem. They only look to others for the latest fashion and latest technology trends and decide that if they don’t maintain their status quo, they can’t love themselves anymore.

They allow the feelings and beliefs of others to enter into themselves to influence their own self-image. The situation here is that they try to find their self-worth in others rather than in themselves. That’s why it’s called “self-love” – not without reason – because it’s about Feeling Yourself rather than conforming to the opinions of others. The wonderful thing about self-esteem is that no one can determine that for you except yourself. Live the highest vision of yourself (ed.). Of course you can be inspired by other people, but only if you allow it yourself.

Meaghan Ramsey of the Dove Self-Esteem Project recently gave a TED Talk discussing “Society’s Preference for Appearance and Physical Appearance.” This led to the conclusion that this has become alarmingly common, especially among children, with a surprising impact on their development and social life.

You can watch the video of the TED Talk here:


As long as you allow society to think for you and make the decisions for you, you will be presented with this again and again. Until you realize that you keep letting your dreams fade away because you think no one believes in them. We say ‘no’ to our deepest desires because we fear what others will think. What would happen if we had that nagging voice in our head that keeps asking, “What will they say?” would turn off and ask ourselves, “What really makes me happy and happy?”

The best advice I can give you is to stop looking for confirmation outside of yourself and start looking within, because that’s what I did. Get to know yourself, ask yourself questions that go deeper than the things that simply revolve around your appearance, and explore what you really want in your life.

Would you like to be a follower, someone who puts the responsibility for self-image in the hands of others? Or would you rather dive into the deeper meaning of life, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it? Trust me when I say that getting approval from others will never feel as good as strengthening your self-love on your own.

I know it’s easier said than done, but I encourage you to constantly remind yourself that self-love isn’t a destination, it’s an endless journey. Despite knowing that I love myself, I must still remain vigilant lest I confuse my self-image with my outer image. You simply do not reach that point where you will love your total self forever. As a human being you change every day, you grow every day, asking yourself, “Is this the person I really want to be?” As a result of your reflections, your self-esteem and self-love will increase as you evolve.

Even those who build self-love have occasional days when negativity can take over. However, with the understanding that the greater your self-love, the stronger your ability to eliminate such thoughts by not paying attention to them.

Why do we pay so much attention to our outward appearance? No matter what you look like on the outside, we’re all just human anyway. Perhaps one of the reasons why so many people are a little too focused on appearance is a strong desire in their souls for something deeper.

We physically separate ourselves in different ways: through the clothing brands we wear, whether your hair is right, to more serious matters such as our gender and origin/race. Countless people prefer to identify with different labels and are so focused on their appearance that they completely forget to look inside: “Who am I beyond my thoughts about my appearance?”

So the next time you stand in front of the mirror, take a good look at yourself and tell your body you love it. Your body is your most wonderful tool; it is your unique vehicle to discover life. Without this vehicle you would not be able to manifest your human experience, so why not give it the love and appreciation it deserves?

I also want to encourage you to stand in front of that same mirror, look yourself deeply in the eye and tell yourself that you are beautiful. If you want, you can close your eyes afterwards, so that you can really look inside. When you look IN your eyes or close your eyes, you are not looking at your body, your hair, your clothes or anything. You look at yourself on a deeper level; after all, it is not for nothing that it is said that your eyes are the gateways to the soul.

Tell yourself that you love your inner self, even if you’re not quite convinced of it yet. Feel compassion for the moment you are in NOW and understand that you are on a journey – your journey. This is the perfect trip for you; no one can fully understand your choice for your path except you. You are strong, capable, dignified and full of love.

You are utterly beautiful!


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