Who or what are you judging? Who or what are you annoyed by? Pay attention to yourself, your thoughts and your judgments about others for a few days. In other words, pay attention to your thoughts about situations outside of yourself. What can you learn about yourself from mirroring?
While driving a car, watching TV, communicating with your loved ones at home, while shopping; your thoughts are constantly moving and present. Your (unconscious) thoughts in these situations make you happy, emotional, angry, annoyed, and so on. That’s because your thoughts come out of your subconscious and pop up before you even think you’re going to think (uhm… you know?).
Thoughts are faster than light. But because your thoughts come from your subconscious, they carry a load. The charge that still surrounds it: emotion, pain, forgotten memories. The protective function of your ego energy is sedation. You don’t want to feel it. Anesthetic is pleasant for a short time, but this energy can determine your life for years, even life. Just as long as you are unaware of it… because you have long forgotten its origin.
Just because they’re forgotten things doesn’t mean they’re gone from your system. The charge, the emotion, is still there. Both the nice and the less nice things. You don’t have to worry about the nice things. Fine things reflect, among other things, admiration.
What makes you admire someone? It’s not about the talent someone has that you may have or the action that person does that you may be, but admiration is about someone sticking their neck out, showing their strength or about a certain fear steps away. Someone inspires you at that moment by a certain way of being and gives you a loving kick in the ass with that. So even with admiration there is work to be done!
The more difficult mirrors belong to the people who evoke a form of irritation in you. It’s not about what specifically annoys you, but about the message hidden in it… And the message, that’s a kick in the ass! Or a wake up call.
It’s not about the other person, it’s about you.
It’s about you!
Not about the behavior of the other.
I often get the same kind of question: “I find my supervisor annoying because he/she is running around the corner. What does that say about me, seen from the ‘mirroring?’ I always do my best and never run out of things. That mirroring is wrong. What’s up with that?”
It’s about what you feel!
It’s not about ‘the edges are cut by your colleague’, but it’s about what you FEEL about it. impotence? resentment? What kind of irritation then? Do you think it’s unfair?
The mirror is what you feel and not what you see! This colleague makes you feel your own powerlessness, frustration or injustice.
The solution is there for you
Maybe it’s high time you kicked yourself in the butt?
Because… why aren’t you a manager? Could that be your frustration? Time to take steps to become a leader? To follow a course or training? Want to start a conversation with your boss? Looking for another job where you can get a PhD and will be appreciated? Take coaching to get rid of your insecurity?
kick your ass
Triggers from others are kicking your ass to work on yourself . It’s high time to do something! You can react in two ways: continue to annoy yourself or work on yourself .
As long as you continue to sabotage yourself (it annoys you) you will get people and situations in your path that mirror and trigger you. You can keep saying, “She’s acting so stupid, I’m not”. But is that really so?
Realize: you can only feel a talent, a power or an emotion if you also have it in you. That’s energy. You have the same frequency at that point. That’s how you recognize it. It doesn’t say that you also have such behavior, it just says that you recognize the energy.
Discover the load
In short, it is not about the behavior of the other person, but about the load that lies beneath it for you. Try to find that out. You no longer need the other person for that. The other is only a mirror to ‘show’ you.
As soon as you really and honestly dare to look at yourself, you can start to feel what makes you so upset. And once you know what that is, you can work on it. Then you can choose to deal with it in a different way or to look at it differently.
Become aware of the judgment towards the other. Realize what you are saying to the other about this in your mind. And that’s exactly how you feel about yourself.
The judgment you have about others is primarily your own.
The condemnation that you name the other, you name unconsciously about yourself in the first instance! Get them out of your subconscious by acknowledging your mirrors. Learn to mirror. That is a very beautiful and profound healing in awareness that you can give yourself.
I wish you a nice voyage of discovery!