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Home Lifestyle Life What’s mine (and what’s not)? The Curse and Blessing of the Empath

What’s mine (and what’s not)? The Curse and Blessing of the Empath

The question many sensitive people ask themselves when suddenly overcome by feelings of loneliness, sadness, or fear is: is it mine or someone else’s? Perhaps more important is the question: how do you keep other people’s emotions from sticking to you? Or: how do you change from an oversensitive empath into a powerful conductor of emotions?

I am an ’empath’, as they call it; a strong intuition. I experience the emotions of the people around me in my body, become physically unwell from fights and violence on TV, get overwhelmed in groups and I had (especially in the past) a strong tendency to take care of others more than myself. Often it is not very pleasant to be an empath: you feel good, step into a room, and go home with a bad feeling that can linger for a week. You wonder what is so terribly wrong with you.


Very annoying, but something can be done about it. You don’t have to keep walking around with the heaviness of your environment. The empath’s primary resource is “discernment”; distinguish between yourself and others . How do you do that? By getting to know and feel yourself on your deep, emotional layers. The answer to the above question – ‘is this mine or someone else’s?’ – then it turns out: ‘it belongs to both of us’ and: ‘I can experience it, but don’t take it over from you”.

make room

How does that work? If you are actually in touch with your own feelings of (for example) loneliness and abandonment, you will not be confused if you are mirrored in them. You know the frequency – the quality – you know it belongs to you and you can stick with it if someone takes it into your field. You keep in touch with that penetrating, cool, unpleasant vibration. You’re not trying to protect yourself from it or run away from it. You make room for the loneliness of the other, and at the same time you are not going to carry or process it for him, because you, from your own experience, know that he can only do that himself. When you then say goodbye, you don’t take his feelings with you. You have the freedom to step in and out of that field. You are no longer “entangled” in it.

See through your defense mechanisms

What happens if you don’t have that awareness? One of the things that applied to me was that when it became too overwhelming, I ‘silenced’ my feeling. Not letting your feelings flow can lead to all kinds of complaints, such as depression. Or I built an energetic wall; created a kind of hardness in my energy field to protect myself from that painful vibration from outside. You get tired of that; you invest energy in maintaining a wall against the outside world that can be better invested in making contact with your inner world. It makes a huge difference when you begin to explore, get to know and connect with the loneliness. In addition to the hardness, the anger at the people around you who ‘saddle’ you with their pain also disappears.

strengthen yourself

Another question that may be of interest to empaths: how powerful are the structured layers of your energy field? In the case of empaths, especially the liquid layers will be highly developed; you feel at home in the realms of emotions, heart and love (and that’s why you so easily ‘blend’ with others), but the structured layers (such as the mental and those of ‘divine knowing’) are probably weaker. A feeling of being unprotected from the outside world and beliefs of inferiority can be the result. You lack the inner certainty that you are connected to a greater whole. You can change this by, among other things, making contact with the structured layers of your field, strengthening them from within, and investigating with which beliefs you undermine yourself.

The cosmic role of the empathCosmic-Alignment

In the past ten years I have done a lot of transformation work, and with results: I step out of those emotional fields more and more quickly, I let go, I distinguish between myself and the other, and I recognize the painful patterns that I hold onto myself. The tendency to wear for people is no longer automatic. And the belief that it’s all my fault has also disappeared. Yet I can still be overcome by intense feelings, to a point where they are almost unbearable.

So there is another dimension at play, and I am currently exploring that: that of the collective energy field. What role do you play as an empath? More and more often, as soon as my own pain is touched, I am aware of deeper, karmic layers, connected to the trauma of the world. As if a bridge is being built through me to the past, through which the pain of the past is brought here into consciousness.

The role of the empath, from a cosmic perspective, therefore appears to be to transform pain. Not only for themselves, but also for the bigger picture. When you have made space in your own feeling centers, and have found a solid ground to stand on, you become a conductor of emotions that otherwise remain frozen in the universal field. It is this insight that gives me strength and prevents me from continuously pulling that old cow out of the ditch: ‘Don’t you ever stop that feeling?’


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