Who do you want to be?

Who do you want to be?

Who do you want to be? This seems like an obvious question, but unfortunately, it is not so obvious to many people. Maybe not for you either. Do you increasingly experience the split between yourself and the other? Do you feel you want to be yourself more and more? How often have you managed to do that? Too little to your liking? Is it too much of a struggle, perhaps a task? Are the reactions of the others holding you back? Are you, like many others in this, afraid of loss?

For me, it was quite a road to come to my senses. A road that has been worth every step for me and I still love to walk. Being yourself requires you to stop adapting, to stop being afraid of loss. I would like to share a part of my journey with you so that when the time is right for you, you can take my insights with you. You take them with you for yourself, but it always works through to all fronts, including your relationship with your partner, and your child.

Table of Contents

Choose for yourself

Who do you want to be?

The way I live my life is a way of always wanting to grow, develop and take responsibility for what I do so that I can grow. I deal with things in life and the purer you are in life, the more you get on your path. For me, 2019 has been dominated by completely stopping adapting, no longer going along with things that don’t feel right, that really go against my feelings. That meant that once I saw what was really happening and I felt in all my cells that I didn’t want it anymore, I had to keep going.

Had to make choices that were really not easy, and were sad. Very often you don’t choose for yourself because you are afraid of loss, it results in you staying with someone longer than might actually be good for you. But once you feel you are no longer afraid of loss, you can go. Then you can be yourself and do from your heart what is really good for yourself.

I serve, therefore I am sweet

Yes, that is what is often thought, but unfortunately, this is not the same. I waited quite a long time to really be myself completely because I didn’t want to be self-centered because I also want to be of service. But now I understand what being of service really means. I thought being of service meant being there for someone else, being kind, and feeling responsible for someone else. This started to pinch and rub more and more. I was already so responsible for everything and everyone around me.

What I have experienced is that being of service is about doing the right thing for the other person. Do someone a real favor. It’s not about being nice or nice, it’s about doing the right thing. And that is very often not the same as nice or sweet. Being true of service means that you can connect purely with the other and dare to do what the other person needs, a situation needs, really do the right thing for the other, so that the other can move on.

Doing what is right is being of service

Who do you want to be?

The closer you are to yourself, the more you can be of service to another, in a clean and pure way, one that really matters to the other and yourself. Because the closer you are to yourself, the less afraid you are of loss. You have nothing to lose if you are truly connected to yourself. And the great thing is that when you are pure of service to the other, you come closer to yourself again, as a kind of positive spiral, because you start to feel better and better about what you, the other person, or a situation need.

All the steps I took before this brought me to this point, allowing me to write the text that came from my heart:

I’m not sweet, I’m myself!

Once upon a time there was a child.
A star at being kind,
good at tidying up, obeying.
No one to bother.

The sweetest child in the class.
Once upon a time there was a child.
A star in disappearing.

Sweet on the outside
, empty on the inside.

Once upon a time there was a man, a woman.
A star in setting limits
no longer adapts.

Once upon a time there was a man, a woman.
Not so loved anymore,
but completely himself.

Closer to yourself

Who do you want to be?

I feel much closer to myself, connections with others are pure, and honest. I get back that I am softer, calmer, and at the same time more powerful than ever. It is no longer a question of whether I will stand for myself, I will. And therefore also for others, my child, partner, dear friends.

And for you, if you feel that I am the one you want to work with to be yourself, as a woman, man, partner, father, or mother. Because you can do this too! You can read here how you can do that too. I don’t want to say that I can do this 24/7, but gosh what a difference since I finally and completely made this choice. It remains an endless process because I believe that you can get to know yourself a little more each time. We didn’t just grow up or stop learning.

Who do you want to be in 2020?

What will it be for you this year?
Who do you want to be?
Who they expect you to be?
Or will you be completely yourself?

So that you can become what you were meant to be again.
So that you can reconnect with your partner, your child, and other people around you.



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