Friday, December 2, 2022
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Why did you come my way?

This is something I have often wondered about with certain people. People who crossed my path during a turbulent time, who gave me hope and strength and who helped me one step further. But also people who caused turbulence and even helped me (in retrospect) several steps further. Steps that I would not have dared or wanted to take before.

You could see your life as a train journey. During this journey people get on your train and after a while they get off again. One person travels with you a little longer than the other person. During your journey you will meet a diversity of people (your mirrors). These people all carry a different lesson with them. A lesson for both you and them. Because your mirrors are also mirrored by you! You don’t cross each other’s path for nothing. Everything happens with a reason.

Positive vs Negative

To keep it simple, I will divide the persons into positive and negative persons.

The ‘negative’ people

Let’s start with the negative people first. Those are the people who create the most turbulence. They are the mirrors that let you look inside yourself in a rough way. These are the people who will help you with your greatest life lessons.

They know/feel exactly (sometimes unconsciously) what your weak spot is and show it to you in a confrontational way. They make you doubt yourself, but also think about who you are and what you stand for.

The negative people try to go far beyond your limits. Then it’s up to you how you respond to this. This allows you to find out where your limits lie and afterwards you evaluate yourself whether you have acted correctly or not. This way you know where you stand.

You are triggered by these people to step out of your comfort zone. They indirectly ensure that you take a few steps forward. In your subconscious you already knew that you had to take those steps. In some cases it is even true that your environment has already told you (sometimes several times). But these people are more or less forced to take these steps. The steps that are right at that moment for your development and self-image. Every step you take can make you stronger.

Negative people try to project their frustration/feelings onto you, so that you start to doubt yourself. Beware of this pitfall. People who feel threatened by you will try to bring you down.

They try to get rid of their bad feelings or share them with you and at that moment they feel they are above you (that feeling is temporary).

No person is above another! That frustration is part of them. That’s something they can work on.

It is up to you whether you allow yourself to be taken into their uncertainty or whether you get your strength from this.

Why do they come your way?

You gain insight into yourself. Insight into your own strengths, but also insight into your areas for improvement. You are confronted with your fears and forced to work on them. As tough as it may seem, you’ll never get more than you can handle. Otherwise you wouldn’t get this lesson. We don’t learn most lessons in a fun way.

life lessons

Some common lessons are:

  • gain knowledge of people
  • learn to set boundaries
  • gain insight into your own wisdom/perseverance
  • gain self confidence
  • become less naive
  • become aware of the signals you (unconsciously) send out

Certain events keep repeating themselves until you recognize the life lesson in them. These events do not have to take place with the same people. Once you respond appropriately to this lesson, you will no longer receive this lesson. You are then ready for the next step in your life .

The ‘positive’ people

The positive people who come your way will come when you need it exactly. You can see them as a ‘present’. These are the people who give you the information you need at that moment to move forward when you are stuck.

But those are also the people who give you insight into your own abilities in a loving way. People who give you confidence to pick up the thread and take the next step. It is people who inspire you.

You can be thankful for the positive people as well as the negative people. Both allow you to look inside yourself . One emphasizes what has always been there, the other indicates your points for improvement.

Everything comes as it comes. Always when the time is right and you need it (positive and negative).


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