Friday, December 9, 2022
Home Lifestyle Life Why Pain Is Necessary in the Healing Process- by Jennifer Hoffman

Why Pain Is Necessary in the Healing Process- by Jennifer Hoffman


Dear Jennifer:  I’ve been in a serious relationship with a man for four years, and even though we love each other, we don’t seem to be able to be together. I know we’re each other’s teachers, and we agreed to do this together, but I can’t take the pain of this relationship any longer.

Even though I love him so much, and he loves me, we seem to bring out the worst in each other, and we can’t seem to end this and we can’t stop the relationship. Why is this such a painful relationship, and is there hope that we can say goodbye to each other and go our separate ways, each attracting a different partner?

Jennifer’s answer:  Have you ever wondered why it is often the person you love most and the relationships you love most that cause the most pain, dysfunction, and misery in your life? In your case there are two factors at play,

both of which need to be worked out in this relationship, and none of them will create any permanence unless you have completed this healing, and are free from each other, and can allow a new partner into you. to live.

We ourselves cannot cause the degree of pain in our own lives that someone else can cause, because when we get into a relationship, especially with someone who is a healing teacher, their focus is on our healing, and they do their job.

will do as well as possible. And this is where the problems begin, because our focus is on avoiding pain. While we do everything we can to avoid the pain that is coming – for we know this at a soul level – they do their best to create the pain so that we can heal and move on.

In this relationship, you try to avoid him hurting you by being patient, sweet, and considerate, and seeing him in the light of his healed self, rather than who he is. He is himself, trying to show you that whatever you do, his free will and choices determine how he decides to act, not the higher aspects you would like to see him embody.

In the end, his free will will win, and this lesson goes back many lifetimes for you, lifetimes in which you took responsibility or blamed yourself for what he did when it was not your fault. He was unable to embody the level of love you desired of him.

The way to free yourself from this lesson is to see it as it is, here and now, in all the energy it embodies. Accept that this is where he is, and where he chooses to be, and free yourself from the obligation you once took upon yourself to heal him.

The greatest gift we can give someone is to see them as they are, not as we would like them to be, not as we know they could be, or hope they would be. This is your lesson in acceptance, and when you recognize this, and free yourself from your path of trying to heal from him, you will accept the healing he has for you, which will complete his work in your life.

Then you can both move on to a more fulfilling, more joyful and more balanced, peaceful, loving and painless relationship.


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