Sunday, December 4, 2022
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Your child’s truth


Recently, I suddenly noticed a sentence in a song. One of the most intriguing song opening lines, as far as I’m concerned:

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends.[1]

Isn’t that literally so? Aren’t we all supported and lovingly embraced at birth? Accompanied and cuddled before our parents can do that? And wouldn’t children remember that? Or at least actually see the boyfriends often called imaginary?

Our oldest often seems to play with others and often tells whole stories “alone” in his bedroom. And our youngest always looks to a corner of the room and smiles very sweetly. He takes great pleasure in something I don’t see. And the loving look in his eyes is beautiful!

Our niece also has friends that we can’t see, they also have names. The other day she had said to my sister, “But Mom, she’s not real.” But aren’t they real? Or are they just not materially present, like us? Just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t very real to our children.

Today’s children often see and hear things that we cannot perceive. Many parents dismiss that. Calling friends imaginary, saying that there really isn’t a man in their bedroom and so on. With that you deny a part of your child’s world and therefore also a part of his real BEING.

To develop all their talents and be who they really are, our children need to be taken seriously in everything they say. Of course they often also have a lively imagination, but you can also go along with them a bit. There is at least a grain of truth in a lot of what they say, or at least THEIR truth.

If you don’t take your kids seriously now, they’ll learn that they can’t tell you everything, that you won’t believe them anyway. As a result, you not only teach them to shield or even shut off parts of themselves, but they will also not confide in you later in life. And there are often times, also later in life, when their trust in you is crucial.


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