If you recognize yourself in the descriptions of codependency and relationship addiction, it can be confronting. You may think that you are damaged beyond repair, that you will never be free from your addictions, your fears and your obsessions. That this is who you are, and that this means that you are fundamentally flawed.
But what if you look at it differently…
What if you realize that as a spiritual being you have entered this earthly life to receive the deeply human experience. Human in all its perfect imperfection, with all the light and the dark, the sorrow and the joy, the pain and the pleasure that comes with being human. Once you choose this perspective, addictions, fears, and obsessions are no longer your enemy. They become the earthly friends that drive your soul in its development.
When you remember that you are both human and divine, you lay the foundation for becoming who you are. Just being earthly and humane does not satisfy your soul, being completely spiritual and being high above all human concerns, neither is it. Whoever honors only one of the two sides will always have the feeling that something is missing, experience a certain emptiness, but not know what is wrong. You cannot rise above what you have not yet felt and integrated. If you try, you will always face the same kinds of problems until you actually solve them within yourself.
Embracing Earthly Life
Your humanity, with all the temptations and pitfalls that come with it, is just as important a part of you as your spiritual side and your desire to serve others at the heart level. The reason you become so deeply immersed in this messy, painful, and sometimes oh-so-heavy earthly life is that you get to know it from the inside out. You are meant to struggle with it, that sometimes you go under and see no way out, that everything seems dark and you no longer see light in you.
If you’re dealing with addiction, low self-esteem, a lack of boundaries and pleaser behavior remember that this is not who you are. You are not a relationship addict, or codependent, you are an awakening soul on a mission. And if your soul has chosen rapid growth in this lifetime, it is not always a pleasant experience in the moment. You will then experience many turbulent periods in your life, during which the things that you do not yet want to see in yourself, manifest themselves in the world around you.
All these painful experiences are an invitation to become more and more yourself and from here to give shape to your spiritual essence on earth. So that you not only know that you are love, but also manifest that concretely in your life in the form of loving actions towards yourself and others.
The funny paradox here is that your ego prefers to rise straight to great spiritual heights and from there to look down graciously on all that tinking here on earth. While your soul can’t wait to wallow in all that is earthly, including all that tinkering. Your ego wants to purify itself in the hope of liberation and a better feeling, your soul wants to roll in the mud, because it knows that manifesting yourself in all your glory on earth is the only way up. It is up to you to unite and follow those two desires.
Addiction as your mud puddle
So what if your rolling in the mud has taken on the form of an obsession or addiction? Perhaps that is something you are deeply ashamed of, something you would most like to knock off like a fly, scrub grime from your being, banish it from your life so that the stain is lifted…
Think of it this way: your addiction is your passion, mistakenly targeting what brings you no joy. It’s a mistake, that’s all. If you search with the same intensity and passion for what really lives in you, you will discover that what you were looking for was always with you. What emotional need do you overlook in yourself so that you try to satisfy it in the outside world? How can you take care of this yourself and feed yourself from within?
Step into the story of your soul
If you consciously pick up your development in this way, then you step out of your small ego story and enter the big story of your soul. A transformation process that is not linear, but consists of a succession of death and rebirth. Your old patterns die and a new way of being is born. More and more of who you are is incorporated into your identity. The invitation in this process is to fully see the parts of your ego that do not serve you and let it go in love.
The Addict, the Victim, the Pleaser … You will have to see them all to heal them. Once you bathe them in the light of compassion and understanding, you can integrate them into your personality. For this you really have to embrace them, because as long as you see certain parts of yourself as ‘bad’ you will deny them, making them more and more visible and exerting more and more power over you. To really know something, you have to become one with it.
If you participate in this process of death and rebirth, you will notice that your soul will increasingly come to the fore and your ego will disappear into the background. You find your true destiny in life, beyond your patterns on the way to yourself. This more and more self-discovery leads to an inspired life: as soon as your soul enters your life, it also adds the light of joy, compassion and fulfillment to all tangible earthly things.
You are human and divine at the same time and find meaning in your life. Nothing in your life has been wasted, you are not behind, it is not too late and your situation is not hopeless. There is always a way forward and everything about this matters. See this path as your home and you will always be in your place. You don’t have to go anywhere, you just have to be yourself.